Even A-list movie stars like Anne Hathaway have their insecurities.
"I still feel the stress over 'Am I thin enough? Am I too thin? Is my body the right shape?'" the Les Miserables star admits in the January issue of Glamour. "There's an obsessive quality to it that I thought I would've grown out of by now. It's an ongoing source of shame for me."
Being in the public eye exacerbates her body woes, according to the star. "I just think about the ridicule you get if you have an off day. If people weren't watching, I'd be so much more eccentric. I know it makes me sound weak, but rather than make myself happy and wear the silly hat and say, 'Oh, I don't care.' I actually really don't feel like getting made fun of," she says. "So I put on something boring and navy and go out and try to disappear."
Since late 2007, Hathaway has been trying to ignore the negative thoughts in her head and focus on the positives in her life. (At the time, she had recently split with Italian real estate developer Raffaello Follieri, who pleaded guilty to 14 counts of wire fraud, money laundering and conspiracy in October 2008. Says the star, "My trust had "been betrayed quite massively.")
"There's no magic bullet. There's no pill that you take that makes everything great and makes you happy all the time," Hathaway says. "I'm letting go of those expectations, and that's opening me up to moments of transcendent bliss."
Luckily, Hathaway has found that in jewelry designer Adam Shulman, whom she wed in September following a four-year courtship. "I feel like I've found my other half, and I'm so excited about getting to love him for the rest of our lives," she tells Glamour. "I would never have gotten married if it weren't for him. You have to want to be married to someone. You have to feel that reciprocated. Marriage for marriage's sake doesn't make any sense to me, and I found someone with whom I could put my money where my mouth is, I guess."
She raves, "He's a good man. He's beyond intelligent. He loves fearlessly. His beliefs are beautiful. He's my best friend. I love him. I just feel that I have the greatest husband in the world for me. You know, we get a lot of pressure to define ourselves as women by how wild we are: How many guys did you sleep with? How drunk did you get? And we all bow to that. We've all done that walk of shame at one point or another."
"There's not a lot of positive information out there about marriage. It's the old ball and chain, the seven-year itch, the divorce rate. Still, my parents have been married for 30 years; his parents have been married for 40 years," Hathaway says. "Mine had great moments and some really sh-tty moments. But they couldn't have been married to anyone else, and they make each other better."
This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Anne Hathaway Worries: "Am I Thin Enough? Am I Too Thin?"