By Chris Gardner
There's a lot happening with Hulk Hogan's head this week.
Let's start with the news that affects the outside of Hogan's face. On Wednesday, the wrestler-turned-reality TV star apparently stunned the world when he told TMZ cameras that he planned to shave off his signature facial hair. And that's not all: also set to go under the razor for work-related reasons are his long blond locks. "I'm getting ready to go on some auditions," Hogan told TMZ. "So that should be scary."
Scary doesn't even describe the reaction the hair-removing news drew from the American Mustache Institute (and YES, apparently that organization does exist). The chairman of the pro-facial hair org, Dr. Aaron Perlut, threw out an immediate, if not dramatically over-the-top, counter to Hogan's forthcoming baldness.
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"Not only would the removal of his lower nose foliage cause angels in heaven to die and fall to earth -- as is written in biblical texts -- but it would send a poor message to young people of Mustached American descent who wish to embrace the Mustached American experience," Perlut told TMZ on Thursday. "We do hope that Mr. Hogan, for whom we have great reverence, reconsiders shaving his upper lip shading device as millions of those he has inspired would be greatly let down, leading to mass chaos and deep bouts of depression in the Mustached American community."
What a mouthful! Speaking of the mouth, it's a perfect time to segue to the news about Mr. Hogan's.
On Tuesday night, the Floridian father of two went under the knife so doctors could remove a metal tack from his mouth, that had been accidentally left there following a dental procedure. In October, Hogan started the process of getting dental implants, which involved a donor bone, stitches and a cosmetic surgeon. Somewhere along the way, doctors removed the donor bone and took his stitches with it by mistake. Hogan said the mishap led to an nasty infection which he couldn't kick and while doctors were investigating the root cause of his ongoing problems, they discovered the wayward tack.
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But Hogan's mouth is obviously on the mend considering his ongoing chats with TMZ, which he concluded by offering this lasting piece of advice. "Theme for the day is ... kids, take care of your teeth."
And let's not forget about taking proper care of your facial hair, too. (And, of course, clearing any proposed changes with the American Mustache Institute!)