Carrie Underwood isn't as shy as she seems. The 30-year-old country music superstar covers the June issue of Marie Claire and models an eye-catching $1,195 Burberry Prorsum swimsuit in the accompanying photo spread. Speaking to contributor Allison Glock, the Oklahoma native opens up about her upbringing and her future with husband Mike Fisher.
"I'm not a mushy person at all. We were never a huggy family. Or a 'let's talk it out' family. Technically I have siblings, but they are quite a bit older than me. I was the accident, so I have the only-child syndrome going on," Underwood admits. "I'm a little more selfish, a little more independent, a little closed. I do wish I were softer. I wish I were able to form relationships better. But hey, I mean, I'm not a sociopath."
After Underwood was crowned an American Idol in 2005, the soft-spoken star's world changed overnight. "At the beginning of my career, I used to have panic attacks. People were touching me, screaming -- it made me really nervous. In public, I just get nervous. It's a physical reaction, feeling like the walls are closing in," she explains. "The fans are great. It's not their fault. I don't ever want to come across as ungrateful. But on my end, it is hard for me to process. Because I am still just me."
The singer adds that her hockey player husband calls her "the queen of awkward moments. Anything that can be made awkward, I will make it awkward." When the topic of kids comes up, Underwood admits she's not ready to start a family with Fisher, 32. "I don't feel old enough to have kids," she says. "I know I am mature. But being responsible for another human?"
Underwood always knew she was destined for stardom, but she had no idea how quickly it would come. In her high school yearbook, she listed a series of goals she wanted to achieve before her class reunion. "You were supposed to say what you would be doing in 10 years, and I said, 'I will be rich, famous, and married to a hot guy,'" Underwood tells Marie Claire. "I guess I should have added a few more things!"
This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Carrie Underwood Models Sexy Swimsuit, Says She's Not a Sociopath