Ed Ruvalcaba / London Ent. / Splash News 1 / 5
Ed Ruvalcaba / London Ent. / Splash News 1 / 5

Cher's transgender son, Chaz Bono, was so desperate to become a man at the height of his past drug addiction problems that he contemplated faking his death and starting life anew as a guy.

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Bono, who was born as Cher and Sonny Bono's daughter Chastity, recently underwent gender reassignment surgery to fulfill his dream of becoming a man.

During the TV special "Becoming Chaz," which debuted on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) on Tuesday, the former singer revealed he had become a pill-popping recluse after the cancer death of his lesbian lover and that he wanted to end his existence as a woman.

Bono recalls, "I thought about faking my own death just so I could do this (become a man) and no one would know. (My family) would know (about the gender reassignment surgery), but the public wouldn't."

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When he eventually went public with his surgery plans, he worried about the painkillers he'd have to take during the lengthy process.

He added, "I'm always afraid when I know I have to take painkillers, because that's my drug of choice, and there's always a risk of a relapse. I used drugs for about 10 years. It started

when my girlfriend was dying. It started with taking her pain pills, not ones that she needed; she had moved way on at this point. ... She died a month before my 25th birthday. When she died, that f----- me up for a long time. ... (I was) a full-blown junkie. I stayed in my house and took pills."

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