By Melissa Hunter
Taking a lead from fellow female punching bag Jen Aniston, Jessica Simpson has given up fighting her bullies and is now walking into her own jokes. Simpson visited an Ugandan fattening hut for her upcoming reality series "The Price of Beauty." You can insert your own personalized "Like she needs any extra help! Hey-o!" or "Is there a neighboring skinny hut that she can go to? Zing!" easy joke here.
Joe Simpson explained to Life & Style, "In Uganda, fat is beautiful... Jessica was with a girl who'd been in a hut preparing for her wedding by being on a 5,000-calorie-a-day diet for two months and 25 days."
That's right. 5,000 calorie diet to bulk up for her wedding day. I'll give you a moment to tear up your Emaciated Bride Monthly magazine in a fit of rage.
He continued, "Who you are inside is the message of our show. She's always scrutinized by the world. The hardest thing for me as a parent is to say, 'That's not who my child is. You don't know the girl — and she's the same girl she's always been.' Beauty starts from within."
Thanks for the touching words, Joe. You've officially dropped down in rank on the Most Damaging Stage Dads list. Meanwhile, Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin continue the competition for the #1 slot (possibly literally by way of their D-Bag Boxing League)
Simpson was the butt of Fox Sports' jokes this week which were both unfairly cruel and totally dated. Come on guys, Jessica Simpson fat jokes are so 8 months ago. Can't we go back to making fun of her for being ditzy and superficial like the good old days?
And while Jessica's fat jokes have yet to subside, it's hard to feel bad for the girl considering the ridiculous amount of apropos press it gives for the show. I wouldn't be surprised if she broke out the mom jeans the week before the show premiered and let the teasing run wild. A real soldier for her cause, that one.