One thing has remained dependable throughout Lindsay Lohan's many, many brushes with the law: It's always someone else's fault.
Stolen necklace? It was a loaner! High-speed chase down the Pacific Coast Highway in a borrowed SUV? "The black kid" was driving. (Nope, Lindsay was.) That cocaine the cops found in her pants pocket? Those weren't her jeans. And the list goes on and on, right through to last Friday, when Lindsay's rented Porsche rammed into the back of a dump truck on the PCH.
Her camp floated several stories, including how the truck driver allegedly cut her off (he adamantly denies this and says he has witnesses to back it up), that he's lying and looking to make a quick buck (in that case, wouldn't he have taken the bribe he claims LiLo's people offered him at the scene?) and brake failure, an explanation that should be easy enough to check, if our addiction to TV procedurals has taught us anything.
Now, TMZ reports the starlet, 25, attempted to set a more elaborate scheme in motion moments after the crash. No, she didn't try to blame a one-armed man. It seems that when police interviewed her at the hospital, she purportedly told them her male assistant, Gavin, was driving.
Indeed, shortly after news of the collision surfaced, X17 says she sent out a text telling friends, "I was in a massive accident. I wasn't driving ... Gavin was."
The cops didn't buy it, however, and they seemingly cited her for having pants on fire after her lackey told officers that she was the one behind the wheel. Eyewitnesses say Lindsay and Gavin both climbed out of the passenger door.
According to TMZ, the police report will include Lohan's ostensible fib, which could end up being very bad news because a) it's a crime to give false information to the cops, and b) it could impact her probation. Either violation could land her back in the pokey.
In late March, Judge Stephanie Sautner terminated Lindsay's formal probation but extended her informal probation until May 2014.
"I'm not going to give you a lecture," the judge told Lohan. "Live your life in a more mature way, stop the nightclubbing and focus on your work, OK?"
But let's face it. Nothing will probably happen to Lindsay over her apparent lie-telling, because nothing ever does. She'll wiggle out of it, until she (heaven forbid) does something terrible enough that the legal system will have no choice but to punish her.
Still, fingers crossed that she avoids more trouble long enough to finish the currently filming small-screen Elizabeth Taylor biopic "Liz & Dick," because we can't wait to see if it joins "Mommie Dearest" as a camp classic. Plus, we really want to know what was in that mysterious pink bag.
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