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It's a whodunit for the ages: Who made off with Madonna's luxury lingerie? Page Six says a bag containing $3,000 worth of high-end unmentionables went missing during the Big M's L'uomo Vogue photoshoot on March 20 in New York's Meatpacking District.

Seems the shoot's stylist received a loan of the following items from undies purveyor Deborah Marquit: a dozen bras worth $2,545; five thongs worth $345 and four briefs worth $515.

Clearly, Hanes Her Way will not do for a pop queen. And yes, loaning underwear is apparently a thing.

After Madonna posed in the "racy" intimate apparel, the goods were stashed in a bag under a chair, only to go missing sometime later. A police report was filed on April 1.

Madonna's iconic and once-beloved cone bras had no comment on the underthings theft. It remains unclear how much the loaner lingerie is worth on the open market.


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