Tom Cruise has never been overly burdened with self-awareness, so it's with a hairy eyeball that we bring you a report that alleges he's ready to ditch the bad press-plagued Church of Scientology as part of a master plan to persuade Katie Holmes to give him another chance.
''It was a terrifying and rude awakening for Tom when Katie served him with divorce papers," a source contends to the London Mirror. "He's used to feeling undefeatable and untouchable. When he lost Katie, he felt [like] a failure."
Cruise, who reportedly hasn't seen 6-year-old daughter Suri in three months, has been a Scientology devotee for more than 25 years. According to Rolling Stone, he's supposedly reached a level within the church that promises adherents total control over their environment, including "the ability to move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behavior of, both animals and human beings."
But the Mirror purports that he's now "distancing himself" from the L. Ron Hubbard-founded religion because he believes it contributed to the end of his marriages to Holmes and Nicole Kidman (his first union, to Mimi Rogers, ended because, as she told Playboy in 1993, "Tom was seriously thinking of becoming a monk. He thought he had to be celibate to maintain the purity of his instrument.").
"He has always used the Scientology techniques, but he has now realized they don't work in marriage," asserts the spy, who dubiously posits that Holmes would "reconsider" her newfound freedom if Cruise made a clean break from the church.
"She was in love with Tom," says the source. "He was her childhood crush. It took a lot of strength to break free. But now she has peace of mind but no love."
Of course, considering that it's only been two months since the divorce was finalized, perhaps Holmes is giving herself a little time to heal before bringing someone new into the New York life she's building with Suri.
And before you start yelling, "Noooooooo! Run, Katie, run!" we checked with Cruise's rep. She tells Wonderwall that talk he's leaving Scientology in hopes of winning back Holmes is "false."
"Katie doesn't want to tie herself down just yet, but she says she's done going out with actors," says a snitch. "Katie's more interested in the quiet life now, and an unassuming artist would fit the bill perfectly for when she's ready."
RELATED ON WONDERWALL:
- 42 minutes ago Check out the best and worst dressed stars of April 2017