Hugh Jackman may have a reputation as one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, but he hasn't always been the happy-go-lucky star we know and love today.
In an interview with Parade magazine, the Oscar nominee opened up about the "white rage" he often felt as a teenager growing up in his native Australia after his mother relocated to England following his parents' divorce.
"I was volatile," he reportedly said. "My mum left when I was 8. My anger didn't really surface until I was 12 or 13. It was triggered because my parents were going to get reconciled and didn't. All those years I'd been holding out hope that they would."
"From the moment Mum left, I was a fearful kid who felt powerless," he adds. "I was the youngest [of five]. I used to be the first one home and I was frightened to go inside. I couldn't go into the house on my own. I'd wait outside, scared, frustrated. Growing up I was scared of the dark. I was scared of heights. It limited me. I hated it, and that contributed to my anger. Isn't most anger fear-based, ultimately? It emanates from some kind of powerlessness. I was really feeling that."
The "X-Men" star's anger issues even prompted him to lash out physically: "There was this perfect storm of hormones and emotion," he said. "I've never said this before: I just remembered that we had those metal [school] lockers, and for some reason, half in fun, we used to head-butt the lockers until there was a dent in them. Like, who was the toughest and craziest? In playing rugby my rage would come out, rage that I identify as Wolverine rage. I'd be somewhere in a ruck in rugby, get punched in the face and I'd just go into a white rage."
The Australian actor also dished on his relationship of more than two decades with wife Deborra-lee Furness, whom he met on the set of the 1995 Australian TV show "Correlli."
It was love at first sight for Jackman: "When I met Deb, I knew immediately I was going to marry her," he says. "I forced myself to wait six months because I thought, 'Maybe it is infatuation. I'm too young to know." It was ridiculous. Every day love just got deeper. I felt a complete trust with her to be exactly who I am. I don't have to be any other version of Hugh Jackman for her to love me."
Married to his soul mate and with one of the most lauded careers in Hollywood, Jackman's life may seem ideal, but he still has worries -- chiefly when it comes to raising his two adopted children, Ava and Oscar.
"They're growing up with great privileges and great challenges. And they have this fame and paparazzi that I didn't have to encounter because no one was interested in my father," says the Oscar nominee. "We worry a lot. In some ways they get a free pass from people when they shouldn't be given a free pass."
His concern for his kids even prompted some extra conversations before he took on the role of villainous pirate Blackbeard in his upcoming family fantasy film "Pan."
"In scenes at the orphanage in the beginning of the movie, the nun talks harshly: 'Your mums are not waiting for you. You're not going to see them again.' I actually read this to my wife and talked to [director] Joe Wright about it," he says. 'I went, 'Hang on. This is dealing with adoption and orphans. I want to make sure that this movie is not something my kids are going to feel weird about.' Every movie I do, I think, 'My kids are going to see this.' When it's a movie about adoption, I want to make sure that they don't feel uncomfortable."
"Pan" opens in theaters on Oct. 9, 2015.
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