Lindsay Lohan's lucky number definitely isn't four. That's not only the number of mug shots she's racked up in recent years, but it's also how many times she's been to rehab.
Now, after being bailed out of the pokey on Friday night after some last-minute legal maneuvers by her high-priced lawyer, the onetime actress-turned-drug test-failing recidivist, 24, apparently expects us to believe the fifth time in treatment will be the charm.
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A source insists to People magazine that she's serious about taking the on-ramp to the road to recovery and will soon voluntarily check herself back into rehab.
"She will step up her treatment and do more than what she was previously ordered to do," maintains the insider.
According to TMZ, this time the program will be "intense" because she needs a "good foundation."
Despite claiming last week that she's "taking responsibility" for her actions (a statement that she may or may not have composed while downing Jack and Cokes and giggling with her pals), Lindsay's foundation currently consists of a strong persecution complex and immense feelings of entitlement.
Seems she believes the judge was "trying to make an example out of her" by locking her up on Friday after she violated her probation, a move she considered "completely unfair."
And the alcohol-monitoring SCRAM device that she once again must wear on her ankle? "She hates that [bleeping] thing," a confidant tells TMZ.
The words you're searching for here: "boo" and "hoo."
And the hits just keep on coming for Lohan, who could end up back in jail when she returns to court on Oct. 22.
Britain's tabloid-tastic News of the World has grainy, daguerreotype-like images from 2007 that purportedly show her with a syringe in her hand.
(Less shocking: She was also seemingly snapped swapping spit with Paris Hilton, bringing the number of people Paris has kissed to, let's see, carry the 1, divide by 8 ... everyone.)
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Granted, it's impossible to say what exactly is going on in these somewhat-staged-looking shots. Is it a madam-in-a-saloon-in-the-Old-West photoshoot? Is she getting a vitamin C booster? Or is it something shadier?
Speaking of shady, a source alleges to X17 that Lindsay's mom Dina arrived at her apartment on Thursday night with "drinks" so they could have "one last hurrah" before her court appearance.
Something tells us the source's name for this accusation might rhyme with Lichael Mohan. Do we believe it? Maybe if Dina had also arrived with a Fudgie the Whale cake.
Either way, as long as LiLo's "foundation" includes these two jokers and her own inflated sense that the world owes her something, she doesn't stand a chance.
So, do you still feel sympathy for Lindsay? Tell us in the comments.
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