Jon Stewart may be getting a new zip code far, far away if Donald Trump wins the presidency -- like, he may move to 9021-Pluto.
"I would consider getting in a rocket and going to another planet," he said, "because clearly this planet's gone bonkers."
The recently-retired host of "The Daily Show" said he wouldn't even consider returning to TV for The Donald or anyone for that matter. He's having too much fun doing nothing.
"If I would have known what life was like on the other side, I probably would have left sooner. It's f------ fun out there," he told reporters after hauling in an Emmy for best outstanding variety talk series. "You can do whatever you want during the day. You can get a smoothie at 2."
Even though he plans to stay retired, Jon told his fellow TV titans during an acceptance speech to "cling" to their success, because it's different when you're not being fawned over by millions of people every night.
"This the first applause I've heard since retiring," he said. "It is a barren wasteland out there."
With the swan song now complete, Jon ended his speech, saying, "Thank you so much, you will never have to see me again."
Gone from TV and perhaps gone from earth, all together.
- Dec. 15, 2017 Meet the stars you'll need to know in the New Year