By Melissa Hunter
Freshly ditched by "Big Man on Campus" (err, studio lot) Chris Pine, Audrina Patridge did what any hot-blooded, rebounding pseudo-star with fake boobs and a personal trainer would do: hook up with a hamburger.
Audrina recently shot her very own requisite "hot girl in a bikini simulating sex with a hamburger" commercial for Carl's Jr. While I'm not one to deny the supreme effects gold bikinis and barbeque sauce have on men, it does beg the question: since when do hot girls eat hamburgers?
Audrina is not the first to delve into burger-love. If you do recall, both Paris Hilton and "Top Chef" host Padma Lakshmi both served up some food porn in the past several years. Paris' commercial was in fact deemed "soft-core porn" by the Parents Television Council. But in all fairness, most anything Paris does could be deemed as soft-core porn.
Obviously these commercials are satirical, but come on, waif starlets pounding burgers? That's like watching a commercial where Matthew McConaughey licks the aluminum top clean from a Dannon Fat Free Key Lime Pie yogurt. It's just ... unnatural.
Audrina told People about her new commercial, saying, "I had an absolute blast shooting. It was my first experience shooting a spot with food, and when I pulled up, I was literally salivating looking at all the rows of perfect burgers waiting for me!"
And by salivate, she means vomit, surely. Eating disorder speculation aside, Audrina, Paris, and the like have been conditioned to have a distaste for fattening foods and surely having one bite of that burger would only dredge up the horrors of their aversion therapy classes (a la "Clockwork Orange").
Audrina continues, "I was cracking up because I would take a bite, and almost immediately a food handler with white gloves would have a brand new burger ready." Food handler is a pretty crappy job, but you know what's worse? Food-spit-up handler, who surely was ready after every take.
Incidentally, Audrina was last seen in a two-piece for a PETA advertisement. She was dressed as a bikini-clad angel holding a puppy (the closest she'll ever get to being a Victoria's Secret angel). Apparently she was raising awareness for dog adopiton ... but eating and regurgitating 20 burgers in an effort to sexualize the fastfood industry? No problem.