How might you present yourself if you were facing jail time, especially in the wake of a legally, professionally and assuredly emotionally difficult year? Let's say you truly were innocent. Now, if you're smart, you'd put forward the best possible face you could, in order to look professional and avoid the worst possible consequences. Right?
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Then there's what Lindsay Lohan did. There's a reason people don't wear "WWLLD?" bracelets, because she has chosen to present herself in a way that tells the world "I still don't get it." She couldn't possibly get it if she tweeted what she did on Thursday. In true Lindsay Lohan fashion, the tweet ignores the 140-character rule and, as a result, is kind of a jumbled mess. The following showed up on her Twitter page: "Was on the phone with my sister & this movie Greenberg is on, i heard my voice which was odd -- and ryhs ifans is watching Just My Luck in the movie -- made me laugh.. i just want to be on set again, and left alone to just work!" (Translation, according to me: "Hey, remember when I was in movies? Sucks that I'm apparently not right now -- except in "Greenberg" -- and other people are preventing me from doing that.")
Don't worry, there's more to that one, long tweet. Here's part two: "fyi - i would never steal, in case people are wondering. I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal." First of all, she was raised by Dina and Michael Lohan. Need we say more? There's no denying these two clearly struggled in the parenting department because their daughter, who has a history of rehab stints and drug addiction, is now facing a felony charge. Lindsay, who are you fooling here?
And there's more. The third part of Lindsay's super-tweet: "also, what i wear to court shouldn't be front page news. it's just absurd. god bless xox L." Honestly, Lindsay, that much is up to you. The white mini-dress you wore to court was lovely, and it wouldn't have been out-of-place at a cocktail party you might once have been invited to by the swanky people who now fear you'll jack their stuff. But it's very difficult even for your supporters to imagine that you -- a fashion-conscious gal, the Ungaro incident notwithstanding -- wouldn't know that this dress would make a stir by virtue of being inappropriate, unprofessional and (by being white) an apparent declaration of your innocence. Of course it's front-page news, doll. You may be going to jail.
Lindsay, everything about this tweet makes us think you don't get it. And, in a way, the judicial system is the nation's way of correcting people who don't. Believe it or not, people want to see you land on your feet, but it's hard to imagine you will when you're tweeting the equivalent of "Wha? Wha happened? I used to be famous for good reason. Don't look at me! Don't stop looking at me!" Actually, now that I think about it, "What Would Lindsay Lohan Do?" bracelets would totally sell -- as a trendy way for people to remind themselves of what choices not to make.