By Drew Mackie
So if anyone had the chance to sow their wild oats and work that party-heartiness out of their system, shouldn't it be Christina Aguilera? The world's unofficial ambassador of skank culture for the better part of the early 2000s, Aguilera apparently has a little more angry genie to rub out, because she has recently been stumbling and fumbling about in a way that would probably get more attention if she weren't being overshadowed by a certain Mr. Charlie Sheen.
Since separating from husband Jordan Bratman in October 2010, Aguilera's professional feats have been middling. The general public did not suddenly decide that her June album "Bionic" stopped sucking, and though her film "Burlesque" made decent money, it didn't convince anyone that Aguilera is a name that belongs on movie theater marquees.
Then, of course, she forgot the words to the national anthem during her Super Bowl performance (a screwup rendered less severe when the Black Eyed Peas performed at the halftime show and managed to suck more despite remembering all their lyrics), and after that she demonstrated difficulties staying on her feet during her performance at the Grammy Award in February. (Divatude disrupts the inner ear function, apparently.) Cap it off with her March 1 public intoxication arrest alongside her new beau, a cringe-worthy resulting mugshot and the increasingly Snooki-like manner in which she presents herself, and you have a situation that should have her fans worried and her critics sounding the celeb meltdown alarm.
Aguilera hasn't completely blown her reputation yet, one should note. After all, just one day after her arrest she was named a coach for NBC's new singing competition show, "The Voice," but it's notable that the news of her new gig often was offset by a roundup of her ignoble recent activities. Furthermore, some articles have even cited "insiders" who claim the public show is representative of the current state of Aguilera's life. "Her drinking is out of control," reports one in Us Weekly. "She's saying she's this strong independent woman and she's fine, but what she's not stepping back to realize is that moving on after a divorce is not easy," reports another to People.
So what's a newly single, 30-year-old pop star to do? First, get some perspective on matters. On one hand, Aguilera hasn't slumped down to "Drrty" levels of classlessness, but even righteously maternal Pink is calling her out, tweeting "Out of Myself, Britney and Christina - didn't everyone think I was gonna be the troublemaker?" Second, Aguilera needs to remember that she's a mom. Her son is getting to the point where he might be able to remember what's going on around him, and no youngster -- famous or not -- needs to see his mom after she's spent a night with her pal Franzia. If the gossip mag sources are right, and alcohol has caused Aguilera's transformation into the blond Snooki, then she'd probably be surprised how swearing off the booze would return her to her normal self (and shape).
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And finally, there's the biggie: Career stress and confusing post-divorce emotions notwithstanding, Aguilera needs to decide for herself if she needs rehab -- now. This writer personally doesn't know what goes on in her private life, but if this woman truly has a problem, then it could jeopardize that job on "The Voice." And "The Voice" just might be the last chance she gets for a while. I mean, look how long it took post-meltdown Britney Spears to toddle back into civilization? And Christina, you really don't want to end up making Britney look good.