By Melissa Hunter
Lately the gossip world has been in a tizzy --a tizzy I tells ya!-- about Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's tomboyishness. Us Weekly brought in style experts this week to comment on her hairstyle, one calling her, "Princess Charming." Earlier Us speculated on the implications of this rejection of her femininity as a sign of her bisexuality.
Seriously, guys? She's three. Let me repeat this: She's a three-year-old. Growing up, my cousin chopped off all her hair, wore boys swimming trunks to the beach, and had a "No Girls Allowed" sign on her bedroom door. She was three. She turned out just fine.
I mean, maybe rebellion is setting in early for Shiloh. It's to be expected when you're scrutinized since the day you were born. Forbes actually had named her "the world's most influential infant." Don't know what that means exactly. She spits up and the world collectively vomits?
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Of course the scrutiny continues on to mom Angelina. Probably the most upsetting blog post from HollywoodLife, who brought in a psychologist to tackle this incredibly serious matter. The psychologist said, "Angelina has said she was bisexual in public. This is her bisexuality coming through. She's saying 'I'm not going to teach my daughter gender. Let her pick'... She is being guided into a bisexual role. Her mother is projecting this onto this particular child—she has chosen her as her favorite. I think this is an issue."
Sorry, I had to give myself a banging-my-head-against-the-table moment.
When Brad commented on "Oprah" that Shiloh likes to be called John, saying it's a "Peter Pan thing," the same article noted, "Peter Pan Thing, my ahem! Brad, does Shiloh even know what the color pink is? Has she even seen it? Why do you let little Shiloh be dressed this way?"
Why do they let Shiloh dress this way? Please refer to my in-depth reasoning from paragraph 2. She is three. And also, what kind of exclamation is "My ahem!"?
Maybe I have a thing against forcing a My Little Pony down a little girl's throat, but I think it's pretty great that Brad and Angelina are embracing Shiloh's self-expresion. And really, Maddox had a mohawk, can't Shiloh have a pixie cut? Personally, I'm a little more disturbed by Suri's multi-million dollar wardrobe than Shiloh's affinity for baseball caps.
Regardless, let's lay off the little kid attacks and go back to regular old full-grown celebrity scrutiny.