By Michelle Lanz
Celebrities with bottomless bank accounts like Shaquille O'Neal and Paris Hilton aren't often told that they can't have something they want. Almost anything can be bought for the right price here in the US of A ... except when it comes to Einstein, the world's tiniest stallion.
The 1.5-foot-tall creature has become quite the celebri-pony after appearing on the "The Oprah Winfrey Show," prompting both O'Neal and Hilton to express interest in purchasing little Einstein. "Shaq would have to armwrestle Paris Hilton for him. He's not for sale. He's priceless," owner Charlie Cantrell told reporter Kevin Gray of the "New Hampshire Union Leader," who broke the story on Oct. 8.
His owner has made it clear that Einstein, who also has a book coming out, isn't going to be sold. But what if Cantrell had agreed to sell him? Sure, the mini-horse is cute and all, but what could Shaq and Paris possibly want with a teeny-tiny pony?
It's pretty clear why Paris would want to get her animal-hoarding hands on Einstein. She has made quite a prolific hobby out of collecting adorable pint-sized pets: She has a miniature pig, dozens of purse dogs, bunnies, an illegal kinkajou and a kitten or two.
When you have money and plenty of free time, you can pay someone to do the dirty work that comes with owning multiple animals. It's not like adding a mini-horse to the mix would inconvenience her in the slightest, but would it be good for the teeny-tiny creature?
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Seriously, what's going to happen when the next trendy pocket pet comes along? Paris has been criticized before for treating her dogs like fashion accessories and for bringing her tiny, terrified Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, to premieres.
Imagine Paris pulling up to the red carpet of some Hollywood event with poor little Einstein dressed in pink as the paparazzi scream her name and flash their lightbulbs in her petite horse-face. And who knows what else would befall the animal if Paris was allowed to add it to her list of animal "friends."
Then there's Shaq. The image of the seven-foot-tall basketball star walking a horse the size of his Air Jordans would be the funniest thing ever for about 15 minutes, but with a hectic work schedule we highly doubt he would be able to give Einstein the kind of attention the diminutive broncho surely needs.
And while Shaq has shown a definite interest in the equine class (via this SmartWater commercial) we're thinking his interest in the mini-horse has to be purely an impulse that will soon fade away.
On the chance that he actually does purchase a horse similar to Einstein, Shaq owns a large property in Massachusetts, so he would be able to give it a nice home with plenty of space to frolic. His family might make decent mini-horse guardians, but winters in Massachusetts could be brutal when snow dumps by the foot.
So what does Einstein think of all of this hoopla? According to his Twitter page (of course he has a Twitter page!), Einstein doesn't want anything to do with Shaq and Paris. "Paris can't buy me, but she can feed me some carrots!" Einstein tweeted (yes, a horse that tweets) on Friday, followed by the exclamation, "I'm Having a Shaq attack!"
That's right, Einstein, stay on your peaceful New Hampshire farm and steer clear of the hectic life of a celebrity in Hollywood.