Once you've cheated on America's Sweetheart (a lot), the smart thing to do would be to work hard at self-improvement, keep a low-profile and focus on your family. And did we mention keep a low-profile?
Two months after his divorce from Sandra Bullock was finalized, Jesse James, 41, has gone public in a big way with Kat Von D, 28, who drops boulder-sized hints to People magazine that it's twoo lurve.
Begin over-the-top eye roll sequence in 3 ... 2 ...
"Jesse is only my ninth boyfriend," points out the "L.A. Ink" star (apparently with a straight face) while posing arm-in-arm with James Thursday night at the opening of her Wonderland gallery in Los Angeles. "I don't hang out with anybody unless I am in love."
The tattoo-covered duo, who have known each other for about six years, but emerged as an item last month after a PDA-filled rendezvous in Las Vegas, were affectionate while walking the red carpet, although their body language seemed to speak volumes.
His appeared to say, "Does it look like I'm crying on the inside? Must smile harder. Man, everyone hates me. I hate me," while Kat's bubbled, "He's mine! All mine! Mwa-ha-ha-ha." But judge for yourself by clicking through the photos at left.
(Maybe it's just us, but flaunting your new romance in the town your ex-wife has called home for years seems just a wee bit insensitive. Then again, compared to the other atrocities James has committed, this ranks pretty low.)
RELATED VIDEO: See Jesse and Kat in Texas
But for Von D, whose recent ex, Nikki Sixx, is reportedly seeing the estranged wife of Jeremy "I Was Kidnapped and Forced to Ingest Things I Enjoy" London, nothing much matters beyond the possibility of Jesse being "The One."
"I believe he is, so yeah," she kvells. And when did she know? "Was it when we were playing Scrabble? I don't remember," Kat shrugs. "But it was something like that -- when we both realized how nerdy we were."
James was markedly less effusive, answering with a simple "yes" when asked if he was happy. As for what he likes about his ink-covered squeeze, he replied with a non-specific, "Everything."
And Von D doesn't seem the least bit concerned that she might be catching Jesse on the rebound. Or that she's dating someone with a Nazi-saluting, skanky mistress-crammed past (of course, she's had her own anti-Semitic-tinged troubles).
"I stayed away from that as much as possible, and when we connected recently, it was such a positive thing," she explains. "It was just like, 'Wow, I can't believe I haven't spent this much time with you the entire time I've known you.' Now I'm just embracing it and enjoying it."
Kat adds to Us, "All that stuff isn't important. I want to lead by example and do my best."
When asked if James has been part of her new gallery, she snaps, "Yeah, we're together. Duh."
Jesse and Kat's coming-out follows a busy few days for Bullock. Last Sunday, she helped open a health clinic at the high school she's long supported in New Orleans, the birthplace of her impossibly cute, 7-month-old son, Louis.
RELATED VIDEO: Sandra gushes over the Big Easy
She also graces the cover of the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, which calls her "the most powerful actress on the planet."
"Every movie you hear about and every script I see, they say, 'We're going after Sandra Bullock for the woman,'" says Ben Affleck, her co-star in 1999's "Forces of Nature."
Observes a high-ranking Hollywood agent, "She's the golden girl. Everyone is rooting for her. I've never seen anything like it."
What do you think of Jesse and Kat Von D? Tell us in the comments.
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