Will Alexander / WENN 1 / 7
Will Alexander / WENN 1 / 7

The combination of a breakup and a milestone birthday can cause just about anyone to freak out a little. But has Kim Kardashian, who's flying solo again after her recent split from Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin, suffered some sort of psychotic break ahead of her 30th birthday next month?

On Monday, the ubiquitous starlet took a breather from her promotional sweep through Europe to put the kibosh on a MediaTakeOut tale that claims she's hot and heavy with Chris Brown, who, you might recall, remains on probation for beating the pulp out of former girlfriend Rihanna in February 2009.

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"As much as I'd love to dispute every rumor, some are so ridiculous I just can't give them attention! I'd be on here all day tweeting! LOL," Kim wrote from Milan. "BUT I have to say, I literally laughed out loud at these dating rumors today! Come on now MTO. I literally can't keep up anymore, not true!"

An insider alleges to MTO that Kim's brother, Rob, facilitated the ostensible courtship by passing along the crooner's phone number to her, possibly during study hall.

"They've been texting each other ever since," purports the source. "Kim's always had a crush on Chris, so she hasn't been shy in telling him what she wants to do with him."

That presumably means she's sent him such messages as, "I want you to ruin my going-gangbusters career by getting your PR stink all over me," and, "I want you to dress up like a football player. Shoulder pads are such a turn-on."

Brown's Twitter remains silent on the wooing chatter.

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Kardashian made her single status perfectly clear when she arrived in Paris last week and discovered a gift basket in her suite.

"My hotel room was fit for a princess with champagne, chocolates and flowers and strawberries everywhere!" she enthused. "There was also a special gift… lingerie! I was like OMG I know Paris is romantic but it's just me here! Party of one, I'm afraid! LOLLL."

Plus, Brown doesn't seem like he'd pass muster on Kardashian's prerequisite about the size of a certain male organ.

No, not that one.

"I'm obsessed with guys with tiny ears," she's quoted as telling Heat magazine. "They turn me on. Isn't that weird? When I'm dating someone, I always think, 'Could I marry this person?' And, 'What would my kids look like?'"

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For now, "I'm trying to be single, but for me that doesn't mean dating around. I don't multi-date," explains Kim. "What if I wanted to go on five dates? There'd be photos of me with five different men and I'd be a slut and a whore. So I don't like to date. And you know what, this is the one time I don't have kids, I'm not married, I'm by myself. Why not just dive into my work, focus and get everything I need done before I get married?"

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