By Melissa Hunter
The newest vaguely relevant star to hop on the Funny or Die video bus is the one and only soft-scripted reality TV blonde Kristin Cavallari. Actually, there are a few dozen, but she's definitely one of them. Top 10, easy.
She has a new series on Funny or Die called "Unsolicited Advice with Kristin Cavallari." She went through the newspaper and gave advice to a variety of people in the news. She gave some wise words to Obama with his problem getting his health care plan approved, advising not to ask the Republicans for help, saying "You ask nice, you ask twice."
Probably the best piece of advice was given to Kate Gosselin, regarding Jon's recent womanizing. She said, "If I were Kate, I'd change my name to Katherine and throw that dork's collection of Ed Hardy s**t in the yard, and then light it on fire." (*cue America's Sweetheart smile*).
My thoughts exactly, Ms. Cavallari. Huh, never thought I'd write that sentence. Though I would add to this list: Load the kids in a van, leave a bag of flaming dog poop at Jon's door, and start a new life in Canada. Hey, you might even get health care there. Oh, and dye and cut your hair. Please. How 'bout a shag? I heard "the Rachel" is coming back.
Funny or Die has a knack for giving kinda lame, unfunny celebrities cred with its sharp writing and hilarious premises, while also giving celebs the ability to self-deprecate and/or remain vaguely relevant for a couple minutes (also see: "Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile" and "Tiffani Thiessen is Busy"). In any event, if it really is a recurring video, I'm into it. It's much more compelling than any of the premises those hack "Hills" writers come up with on their totally gritty, candid reality show.
Keep it up, Kristin. Going on softly lit dates at trendy Hollywood clubs will only last you so long.