Asadorian-Mejia / Splash News 1 / 9
Asadorian-Mejia / Splash News 1 / 9

Madonna hasn't been seen with Jesus Luz for several weeks, but that's apparently not stopping him from talking up how tight they are.

"I consider myself a married man. I have a family," the Brazilian model-cum-wannabe DJ, 22, is quoted as telling Brazil's RG Vogue (via the London Daily Mirror). "At my age, my father was also married, my mother gave birth to me when she was 15."

(You can do the math on 51-year-old Madonna vs. Mrs. Luz.)

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Last month, the Big M and Luz put breakup rumors to rest when they were photographed tangling tongues in a Rio de Janeiro club while in town for Carnival.

The doe-eyed vealcake was also spotted, sans Madonna, splashing around the pool of a local hotel with her daughters, Lourdes, 13, and Mercy, 5.

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Meanwhile, Jesus is supposedly experiencing another one of the perks that comes from living in Madonna's rarefied world: a Lindsay Lohan-free record-spinning zone.

The Mirror claims the Kryptonite-like starlet was recently denied entry to the Paris hot spot where Luz was DJing.

"Lindsay got her people to phone the club to try and hang out with him," alleges a source. "But when Madge's people got wind of it, they put a block on it. Jesus wasn't one to argue, he didn't want to upset Madonna and was just there to work. LiLo had to make do with a night in her hotel."

Hmmm, not sure if we're buying this. For one thing, does Lohan still have people to make calls for her? And does she ever "make do" with a night in? We figure Lindsay is a lot like the bus from "Speed": If she doesn't club-hop non-stop, she'll spontaneously combust, leaving behind nothing but an ashy residue of nicotine, vodka and bronzer.

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