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First, the housing market crashed. Then the banks shut down. And then millions of people were laid off. The recession has been devastating for America, but now the unthinkable has happened: no one bought exclusive rights to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's second fake wedding. Has it really come to this? Is Obama just sitting on the sidelines for this one?

Reality TV Wedding Bells for Speidi

Apparently no magazine was prepared to offer Speidi the millions they were looking for to snag an exclusive. In Touch magazine's Editor in Chief, Richard Spencer, tells MSNBC, "The total number that (Montag and Pratt) used to get from exclusive photos is down. It's sometimes better to go all round with the deal and ensure you make money and get exposure ..." Translation: Everyone's just not that into you.

Pratt Pursues Politics

Heidi and Spencer should really take this as a lesson: When you tip the paparazzi on your every move and pimp yourselves out for any chance at even the most inane "99 cents store outing" photo op, your stock goes down ... it's really a buying milk vs. free cow situation.

Lauren Conrad has, however, found a way to make some cash off of Heidi and Spencer's shamelessness. After telling MTV that she wouldn't be attending the wedding (with the hilariously diplomatic response, "Um, those are not in my plans, no."), she joked to Letterman that she's putting her ticket onto eBay. Wouldn't be a bad idea. She could probably make a cool twenty bucks, easy.

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Photos: Spencer and Heidi