"People see me as, like, this Barbie with a perfect life, a fantasy ... whatever." That's Paris Hilton, talking about her famous, pink-Bentley-driving lot in life in the just-released trailer for her forthcoming, moniker-challenged MTV documentary, "Paris, Not France" (because there are just so many unanswered questions about the riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigmatically short skirt that is Paris).
But the starlet's life isn't always perfect. Not only was she recently the victim of a cruel joke, but she may also be driven out of boyfriend Doug Reinhardt's tony new Hollywood Hills digs by fed-up neighbors wielding torches and pitchforks.
TMZ.com reports that police arrived on Friday -- again -- at Reinhardt's $22,000-per-month rental (for the math-deficient, that's $733 a day) in response to what neighbors thought was a shouting match between the usually tongue-entangled twosome.
But while the screams were real, the fight wasn't. Turns out Paris was hysterical after receiving a call from someone who claimed her beloved teacup Chihuahua Tinkerbell had been hit and killed by a car.
But don't worry: Tink didn't decide that playing in traffic would be preferable to another evening spent watching "The Hottie and the Nottie" while Paris and Doug sucked face.
"Thank God, it was just a prank call," Hilton posted on Twitter. "Tinkerbell is home safe and sound. I can't believe someone is sick enough to make such a sadistic prank."
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She added that the squabbling reports are also lies, declaring, "Doug and I are happier than ever."
The same, however, can't be said for Doug's neighbors. TMZ.com reports that one resident is so upset by the disruption caused by Paris' presence that he's willing to pay big bucks to have them tossed out.
The deep-pocketed denizen has apparently written a letter to Reinhardt's landlord offering to pony up his $22,000-a-month rent, along with $5,000 extra, if he kicks him to the curb.
Before making the cash offer, the guy supposedly approached Reinhardt with his noise concerns, only to have the Z-lister inform him, "This is what you have to expect because Paris and I are public figures." Well, he's half right, at least.
Anyhoo, the neighbors had a quiet weekend, with the empty-eyed amours leaving them in peace as they hit the Cannes Film Festival, where Hilton exhibited her characteristic grace under paparazzi fire.
X17Online.com says she became annoyed after a bodyguard jostled Doug while leading them astray amid a crush of shutterbugs.
"Don't [bleeping] touch my boyfriend, a--hole!" she's heard sniping on camera.
That incident aside, Paris whooped it up at the fest, joining Reinhardt at the VIP Room, where she was captured puckering up, posing and attempting either to boogie down or churn butter (with her twitchy dance moves, it's sometimes tough to tell).
"Having the most fabulous time in Cannes," she Twittered. "It's so over the top, glamorous, and decadent! I love being over in Europe. I feel like a princess."