Sara De Boer / Retna Ltd. 1 / 8
Sara De Boer / Retna Ltd. 1 / 8

We have two words for Marilyn Manson: Grow up. At age 40, the whey-faced rocker is still spouting his "no one knows the dark depths of my damaged soul" shtick, this time by blabbing to Spin magazine about how he bottomed out on Christmas Day last year over his breakup with Evan Rachel Wood, 21, whom he once described as "my double, my twin". "I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person," he moans to the mag. "And every time I called her that day -- I called 158 times -- I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands." Maybe this is why Manson's makeup gun has lately been stuck on the "sad clown" setting. "I look back and it was a really stupid thing to do," he needlessly points out. "This was intentional, this was a scarification, and this was like a tattoo. I wanted to show her the pain she put me through." As for Wood, who briefly reconciled with her onetime twin a few months back, we have two words for her: restraining order. Shares Manson, "I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer."

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In less disturbing couples news, for the second time in less than a month, Katie Holmes is rumored to be carrying the fruit of Tom Cruise's loins (and apologies for making you think about Tom's loins). The thin white T-shirt the actress wore to Cameron Diaz's Walk of Fame ceremony on Monday seemed to highlight an ever-so-slightly bulging belly, leading to another round of chatter that she's incubating a sibling for 3-year-old daughter Suri. But like the dozen or so previous pregnancy reports, this one is being denied by Katie's rep. Besides, on Tuesday, Holmes showed off a non-bulgy midsection in her favorite pair of never-have-been-and-never-will-be stylish rolled-up denim Bermuda shorts.

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Earlier this month, Vanessa Minnillo bubbled that her three-year relationship with Nick Lachey was not only going strong, but that "it keeps on getting better." Three weeks later, they were kaput, seemingly done in by Nick's crushing ennui. "Frankly, he was pretty bored," a Lachey buddy tells the Chicago Sun-Times. "Nick just didn't find he and Vanessa had all that much in common anymore." That includes cornea-burning baubles. The paper says "there were concerns" over Minnillo recently detailing the size of the rock she hoped to see on her ring finger one day. "I don't think her publicly announcing she was expecting an engagement ring of 'at least 10 carats' went over too well," notes an insider. Vanessa is already working the "single and loving it" angle, hitting a Reebok bash in Los Angeles on Tuesday. "She certainly wasn't moping in the corner or looking upset over her breakup at all," a mole tells Life & Style magazine. "She looks like she's on the prowl and that she'll stop at nothing to get her prey."

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Salma Hayek is firing back at claims that she dates men who kiss-and-tell. Seems the actress is miffed that onetime uber-producer Jon Peters lists her as one of his conquests in a book proposal he's pitching about his life. "After several weeks of continued press coverage of Jon Peters' upcoming book, I want to make something very clear," Mrs. Francois-Henri Pinault fumes to Entertainment Weekly. "I have never dated nor had a romantic relationship with Mr. Peters. My name has been continually linked to his romantic liaisons, and I want to put a stop to this lie." Hayek, whose exes include Edward Norton and Josh Lucas, isn't the only star mentioned by Peters, who also name-checks Barbra Streisand, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kim Basinger, Pamela Anderson, Nicollette Sheridan and Sharon Stone.

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Next: Bradley Cooper Puts Jen in 'Friend' Zone, But the Tabloids Disagree