Amber Portwood's intense legal troubles are taking a toll on the 22-year-old reality star and mom to Leah, 3.
Having just completed a rehab stay at Seasons Recovery Center in Malibu, Calif., Portwood returns to her Anderson, Ind., hometown on Tuesday's episode of Teen Mom and has trouble adjusting to life with ex-boyfriend Gary Shirley and their daughter.
"I'm stressing," Portwood tells her cousin Krystal in a preview clip from Tuesday's episode, which was filmed months ago. She adds that she's having trouble working with Shirley -- Leah's guardian -- to arrange visitation. "Sometimes I wish I could go back to rehab. How sad is that? Sometimes I don't know how to live anymore."
Encouraging her cousin to take things one day at a time, Krystal dials up Shirley to help Portwood arrange the next week's visitation, but Portwood can't seem to hold her tongue. "He's a piece of crap!" she fumes after Krystal's conversation with Shirley, whom Portwood declares to be a "fatass."
Rather than deal with her mounting legal woes -- some of which will be chronicled on her final season of Teen Mom this summer -- Portwood opted out of a court-ordered rehab program in June 2012, instead agreeing to a five-year prison term.
"I was very depressed, all alone, all bitter at everybody," Portwood -- who survived a suicide attempt in June 2011 -- reasoned to ABC News after beginning her extended jail term. "I felt like that wasn't the life I wanted to live, I felt like I'd rather do my time, and get it over with, and make the best out of the situation that's been handed to me."
Teen Mom airs Tuesday at 10 p.m. (EST) on MTV.
This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Teen Mom's Amber Portwood: "I Don't Know How to Live Anymore"