Farrah Abraham's ex and the father of her baby, Derek Underwood, tragically died in a 2008 car accident, and now the Teen Mom star is opening up in a new memoir about just how painful her family's loss has been.
In her book, out August 14, Abraham, 20, recalls the chilling phone call she received on December 28, 2008 letting her know of ex Underwood's accident. "I got off the phone and tried to calm down, but my mind was racing. Derek was the father of the baby I was carrying inside me. He was my first love, my only true love," Abraham, who was eight months pregnant and not speaking to her baby's father at the time of his death, writes in My Teenage Dream Ended, as excerpted by MTV.com. "Now Derek was gone forever, and so was my happy ending."
Eager to distance herself from Underwood following their breakup, Abraham sought comfort in her parents after his death, but her cries for help fell on deaf ears. "Their hatred of him seemed to make them blind to my grief," writes Abraham of Debra and Michael, who appear on MTV's series alongside their daughter and granddaughter. "My mom would say, 'Some things happen for a reason. Maybe him not being here is better for you and your baby.'"
Single mom Abraham has put aside a collection of photos of Underwood and other mementos so that Sophia will be able to learn about the father she never got to meet. "Every year, we go to Derek's grave site," Abraham has said. "We take pictures, we record it, and I have a whole baby box for Sophia with letters and pictures telling how and why things happened, and why I'm here today alone."
Farrah Abraham's My Teenage Dream Ended is available in bookstores August 14.
This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham Opens Up About Ex Derek's Death in New Memoir