Matt Sayles / Invision/AP 1 / 9
Matt Sayles / Invision/AP 1 / 9

By Melissa Hunter

Mel Gibson is trying to get his infamous DUI from 2006 stricken from the record. Ugh, does that mean we have to stop calling him Sugart--s?

TMZ obtained court papers (because they creepily obtain everything, really) that show Gibson's lawyer's plans to remove the DUI because of his completion of three years' probation. Considering the damage done to his career from that DUI, it's reasonable that he would want his fleet of lawyers to try striking it from his record. But why stop there? A measly DUI shouldn't be the only thing the guy tries to fix after the fact. Here are a few other, erm, "incidents" we suggest he may want to have erased from the Mel Gibson file while he's at it:

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1) The missing prenup

Seriously, Mel: No prenup? That's rookie movie star behavior, if you ask me. Just have the invisible document suddenly manifest itself, notarized and signed by you both with an early-'80s predate. Those were the crazy "Lethal Weapon" years, so it's probably all a blur to her anyway.

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2) "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome"

Mel hasn't had many major flops, and between the late '80s and late '90s was a box office golden boy. However, going into a third edition of Mad Max wasn't exactly the best move. I mean, really: What could possibly be "beyond Thunderdome"?

3) The 1991 interview with El Pais

Long before anyone would have ever seriously considered that Mel might have had some problems with alcohol, his marriage and Jewish people, an early warning sign might be his staggeringly homophobic interview with a Spanish newspaper back in the early '90s. One of the few quotes that doesn't have to be censored is, "Do I sound like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?" This launched a decade-long feud with GLAAD, and he later blamed his comments all on the booze.

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4) The police report from said DUI

Forget the charges, if the guy wants to clean up his real record (the public record) then he needs to get all of the unsavory comments somehow unseared from our brains. And outside of a well-executed Nazi-demolishing WWII epic, the best way for Mel to do that these days is to control what information pops up in a quick Internet search. Scrub the police report, and someday he'll stop being the top result for a casual search of anti-Semitism, Sugart--s, and Malibu's lovely Moonshadows Bar & Grill.

These all may seem like difficult stains to be washed from the fabric of our memory, but if you have enough power, anything's possible. I mean, he does own all of Malibu. Wait, strike that.