LAN / Retna Ltd. 1 / 5
LAN / Retna Ltd. 1 / 5

It was like dysfunctional déjà vu all over again when Lindsay Lohan turned up at Samantha Ronson's Los Angeles digs in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Just like the previous week, the inconstant couple immediately began bickering within earshot of the paparazzi.

According to, the steadily spiraling, milkshake-making starlet arrived at Ronson's around 3 a.m. and discovered she wasn't yet home, so she decided to wait on her doorstep. For two hours. Keeping her company during this vigil: a mystery female pal and several video camera-wielding shutterbugs.

Now, you'd think that at some point during those mortifying 120 minutes, Lindsay, 23, would have asked herself, "Does it reflect poorly on our so-called relationship that my sweetheart doesn't trust me enough to give me keys?"

RELATED: Is Lindsay Lohan a celebrity fauxmosexual?

But that would have required self-reflection, something she's about as keen to do these days as show off her natural skin tone.

Anyhoo, here's how the scene appeared to unfold when Ronson returned home around 5 a.m.: As she walked past the photographers and stepped through her squeaky front gate, she immediately asked, "Who is out here?" Lohan, a weepy hitch in her raspy voice, indignantly replied, "Your girlfriend!"

Sam calmly explained that she was referring to the hot pants-wearing third party, who, she informed Lindsay, "has to go. She's on my property. I don't know her. I want her out. It's that simple."

RELATED: Learn how to make Lindsay Lohan's signature milkshake

LiLo then repeatedly and tearfully beseeched, "Where were you?"

Ronson informed her that she was with her sister, prompting Lohan to retort, "You're lying!" Moments later, the drama-fueled flames entered the house, with Lindsay unsuccessfully attempting to slam the door.

As for the unknown brunette, she set off her car alarm while trying to make her getaway, likely giving Sam's neighbors one more reason to break out their pitchforks and torches.

Hours earlier, Lindsay loaded up on freebies at the Silver Spoon Beach House in Malibu, nabbing jewelry and boots in between exhaling clouds of cigarette smoke that gave a scary glimpse of what she'll look like in 10 years (she should tack this picture up as inspiration to get her life back on track).

RELATED: See photos of Lindsay Lohan

On the plus side, there are still some brave Hollywood souls who are willing to work with her. Director Robert Rodriguez tells MTV News that he's about to start shooting "Machete," which is based on the fake trailer featured in "Grindhouse," and he's interested in casting Lohan in a role.

"Lindsay's cool," he says. "There's actually a cool part in the movie for her -- if she takes it."

We strongly suggest that the employment-needing actress, who turned down a part in "The Hangover" and whose last flick, "Labor Pains," went straight to basic cable, seriously consider the offer during her next extended stakeout of Sam's place.

Next: Winehouse's ex blabs to tab: 'I thought she was dying in my arms'