Reality star Lauren Conrad's fictional book about a girl starring in a reality show is being turned into a movie. Still with me? Let's just make this real simple: "The Hills" will not rest until it has been adapted to every medium of entertainment. All we need is for Brody Jenner to create an impressionist painting of Audrina Patridge's hollow eyes, and the cultural vortex will be complete.
But the real question remains: Who will star in the reality-show-turned-novel-turned-film? Clearly none of the "Hills" cast members can act, so we may have to turn to *gasp!* real actors. So roll up your sleeves, and let's figure out who should bring these characters to life.