- Photo: Matt Sayles/Invision/AP9 of 14
Winky and the Brain: A day in the life of Paris Hilton's brain sure can be exhausting. When it's not busy calculating the hotness level of everyone within a 30-foot radius, it's sending out complex posing instructions (thrust hips, throw back shoulders, heave bosoms, give awkwardly sexy wink and pout) and trying to come up with a suitably schmoopy pet name for her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, who set the bar high by dubbing her "Angel Princess." Such challenges might explain why the starlet's cerebrum was unable to process her request to find appropriate attire for a J.C. Penney-sponsored event. Instead, Hilton's overtaxed mind simply figured that J.C. Penney sells inexpensive goods. Inexpensive means cheap and cheap means posing at the store's shindig in a see-through, please-check-out-my-hoisted-cleavage corset. Of course, given that we're already intimately (if reluctantly) familiar with Paris' lady parts, it's not as if she's showing us anything new. In fact, stepping out in public in only a push-up bra is positively modest for her. Heck, it's even a tad wholesome considering how Mickey Mouse's ears are gently cradling her boobies.