Brad Pitt Doesn't Believe in God
by Saryn Chorney
"Inglorious Basterd" Brad Pitt is going to burn in Hellfire for this one: The demi-god thespian was recently interviewed by German Web site Bild.de, and when the reporter asked if he believed in God, Pitt smiled and replied, "No, no, no!" Uh-oh.
Surely all the tabloids are going to blame his she-devil baby mama Angelina Jolie for ruining the Midwestern-born and bred actor's heavenly aura, but Pitt insists he is not a spiritual person.
"I'm probably 20 per cent atheist and 80 per cent agnostic," says Pitt. "I don't think anyone really knows. You'll either find out or not when you get there, and then there's no point thinking about it."
Well, he has a point there. Unless, of course, his soul ends up in purgatory and has to endure centuries of suffering and torment for what he and Angie did to poor, sweet Jennifer Aniston. (That's what Star magazine will have us believe, anyway.)
In the meantime, Brad claims he's found happiness in life. "I am on the path I want to be on," he assures BILD, and right now, that path is a 2 1/2 hour drive from Berlin to Prague on one of his many motorcycles.
How many motorcycles? "Sorry, but I've got a problem with that," Pitt says, sheepishly. "To be honest, I don't know how many I have."
The wannabe Hell's Angel even admits "my family and, yes, a couple of my motorbikes" are his most important possessions in life. Angie's butt is right up there, though, along with a prized Michael Jackson t-shirt.
In conclusion, the philosophical BILD reporter asks the self-acknowledged soulless actor the most absurd question of all: Who is the real Brad Pitt?
"He is sitting right in front of you. There's nothing else."
That's Brad Pitt, gonzo existentialist, for ya.
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