While we think Britney, Demi, Mariah and Nicki are all awesome, we sometimes find ourselves longing for the days of Paula Abdul's ridiculous, effusive commentary as a judge on "American Idol" and then "The X Factor." A prime example: Paula gushed to "Idol" season-seven runner-up David Archuleta, "I want to squish you! Squish your head off and dangle you from my rearview mirror." We can just hear Paula making high-pitched "squee!" sounds while beaming from her seat, most likely clothed in a short, sparkly confection. Paula is all rhinestones, fringe, sequins, smiles, and Swiss.