By Wonderwall.com Editors
2:43am PDT, May 28, 2009
By Melissa Hunter
Bikini season is rapidly approaching (even though some of us wish oversized sweaters would stay for good) and with it comes the quandary of how to look fantastic in very little clothing. This is why you should put your trust in Skimpy Clothing Professionals (i.e. celebrities) to help you navigate through all the madness. Want to eat cookies all day? There's a celeb diet for you. Want to eat like an infant? Oh, you better believe there's a diet for that. Or how about finding a diet that's in sync with your GOOP philosophies? You've come to the right place.
The Master Cleanse: AKA "The Lemonade Diet" or "The Maple Syrup Diet," this all-liquid, 10-day (minimum) fast picked up steam after Beyonce Knowles swore by it when she filmed "Dreamgirls." It's just like the home-cooked meals your mom used to make. Only minus the pot roast and potatoes, and plus lemon, water, maple syrup, lemon and cayenne pepper. Delish.
The Baby Food Diet: This diet, winning points for having the most self-explanatory title, has been a trend for Hollywood moms like Reese Witherspoon and Marcia Cross. It's pretty much exactly what you'd think: Eating baby food in lieu of real food. The small portions help curb overeating and nutritional content helps avoid malnourishment (hear that, actresses?). While ice cream cones aren't quite on the list of approved options, if you work out the way Reese does, you can go ahead and graduate to a kindergartner's diet.
The Five Factor Diet: Created by celebrity trainer Harvey Pasternak, this diet has the kind of star-studded endorsement that Jenny Craig could only dream of. John Mayer, Eva Mendes, Jessica Simpson, Kanye West, and Alicia Keys are a few of the celebs who rave about this plan. Initially created for celebrities, the prepackaged meals are over a 5-week plan, with 5 meals a day containing 5-ingredient meals, allowing 5 cheat days, and including 25-minute workouts (5×5!). Basically if you love celebrities and the number 5 as much as Harvey Pasternak, you've got yourself your dream diet (and you may also have OCD).
The Genotype Diet: Taking the science of nutrition to a new level, this diet is customized for the four blood types – Type A, Type B, Type 0, and Type AB. Jennifer Lopez and Elizabeth Hurley are two stars who swear by this. But since they're both more Type A-list than anything, their diet mainly seems to consist of yellowtail sushi, acai berries, foie gras, Veuve Clicquot and Smart Water.
The Zone Diet: A scientifically calculated combination of carbs, protein, and fat, this diet swept the nation in the '90s and has been a go-to fat buster for stars and regular people alike. Cindy Crawford, Demi Moore, Sandra Bullock, and Jennifer Aniston are known to use the diet … you know, no one that impressive. Dedicated Zoner Aniston was rumored to eat the exact same salad every day on the "Friends" set. Sounds like no fun, but when you have your pick of boyfriends, designer clothes, vacations, and cars, variety in food seems a little less necessary.
Macrobiotic Diet: More of a way of life than a fad diet, the Macrobiotic approach focuses on a holistic lifestyle, eating whole grains and organic foods. Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow are followers though Gwynnie often goes for, um, the X-treme Macrobiotic diet, as she's explained how she sheds pounds quickly in her GOOP newsletter. Apparently her post-holiday diet this year was so extreme it caused her to hallucinate. Though we don't have all the details, you can rest assured that you'll have her secrets soon enough. She's coming out with a cookbook this year "My Father's Daughter" which surely will have killer recipes for her famed Lettuce Puree and Lemon Water Delight.
The 3-Hour Diet: There are certain things we can't get out of our heads. Men supposedly think about sex every three minutes. Women think about force-feeding underweight actresses every five minutes. For those of us who can't get cravings off our mind, this is the ideal diet. Eating small meals every three hours supposedly boosts your metabolism and helps reduce cravings. Take it from Jessica Biel and Heidi Klum who are big fans of the diet. Though between TV, film, and red-carpet appearances, I don't know where they find the time. Surely there's a fourth personal assistant they can hire for on-the-spot feedings. This is your opportunity to reduce the unemployment rate here, girls.
Weight Watchers: A system that keeps track of food based on "points," this is a diet for those of us who want to eat the foods we want but can't handle moderation ourselves. Basically you need A) self-discipline and B) elementary-level counting skills. Option B may exclude a handful of model-turned-actresses from this diet, but Jenny McCarthy has been a Weight Watchers spokeswoman for several years now. Pretty impressive, as her body seems to be as fit as it was back in her 20s during her "Singled Out" days (best dating show ever). While we're not sure whether Weight Watchers, plastic surgeons, or professional airbrushers are to thank for Jenny's physique, we know that she's keeping her fans, and Jim Carrey, very happy.
The Hollywood Cookie Diet: What whimsical dream weaver came up with this diet? In the '90s, a Gummi bear diet was all the rage, but now (pseudo)nutritional science is taking sweet toothed-dieting to a whole new level. The diet treats come pre-packaged and you switch out two regular meals with … yep, cookies. Yo-yo dieter Kelly Clarkson has tried this diet, and so haveMandy Moore and Jennifer Hudson. The most infamous story, however, comes from Guy Ritchie who supposedly lost his sex drive after this diet while he was with Madonna. Oh, so that's explains why she switched from a cookie man to guy candy.
The Lunch Box Diet: Yet another way to revert back to your childhood days, this diet has a pretty simple concept — put health foods in a lunch box to eat all day. Cameron Diaz follows this diet and Heaven knows she's kept a svelte physique over the years. It's unclear whether she takes the lunch box to red-carpet events, but she could jumpstart not only a diet fad, but a new accessory trend as well. Now the real question is: Jonas Brothers, Star Wars, or ALF lunch box? I'm gonna go with ALF, since you can dress him up or dress him down.
Atkins: The diet that spawned anti-carb hysteria, Atkins was all the things carnivores dreamed a diet ever could be: meat and cheese — all day, every day. With any cultural phenomenon comes a slew of celebrity followers. Kate Hudson, Renee Zellweger, Rihanna, and Calista Flockhart were a few thin starlets who have at one time opted for the sugar-free lifestyle. Though critics have said this does not lend itself to long-lasting maintenance. Take it from Kate — Atkins leads to Ben & Jerry's binges on the beach. Though for all us normal folk, this isn't balanced out by a four-hour personal Pilates session.
Jenny Craig: This diet of pre-packaged meals has been around since the 80s and was the forerunner for campy celebrity endorsements. Kirstie Alley made headlines when she went from "Fat Actress" to "Slimmer, Less Scrutinized, but Still Sort of C-List Actress." She has since gained back most of the weight she lost and is now trying yet again to lose it (and yet again land a TV show). In other Jenny Craig news, Aretha Franklin was said to be "highly insulted" by an offer the diet company gave her to be the spokeswoman for their new campaign. Well, we've heard Kirstie Alley may be looking for a new endorsement deal …
