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By Kat Giantis
Lindsay Lohan, who brought you such classic excuses as, "These cocaine-stuffed pants I'm wearing aren't mine!" and, "My dad had someone steal my passport," is offering up a new defense after a photo surfaced on TMZ Friday morning that appears to show her partying at the Cannes Film Festival in proximity to what may or may not be a few lines of cocaine.
Her excuse: It wasn't me; it was a one-armed man. Oh, wait, that was "The Fugitive." (And at least he was telling the truth.) No, it seems Lindsay is convinced she was framed.
Radar Online was able to get in touch with the spiraling starlet in France, where she continued to find the fun after skipping a required court appearance on Thursday in Los Angeles for a progress report on her DUI case.
When asked about the powdery white substance on the table in front of her pantsless legs in the photo, she exclaimed, "What?"
Then, after checking out the image, the sometime actress, 23, declared, "That's a setup. That's so untrue."
LiLo didn't expand on why she might have been set up and insisted she had no idea what was on the table. No word on whether she's contacted Inspector Clouseau to get to the bottom of things.
Either way, she won't have to worry: TMZ says the photo can't be used against her in court because prosecutors have no way to determine what, exactly, the powdery stuff is.
Not that Lohan seems all that concerned about the avalanche of trouble raining down on her in Los Angeles, where a bench warrant was issued for her arrest after she failed to show up.
RELATED VIDEO: Warrant issued for Lindsay's arrest
The judge, clearly not buying Lindsay's latest excuses (e.g., she couldn't get a new passport in time; the flights were full, except they apparently weren't), ordered her to stay away from booze, wear an alcohol-monitoring anklet and undergo random weekly drug testing.
"If she wanted to be here, it looks to the court that she could have been here," huffed the judge, who postponed a scheduled vacation to ensure Lohan was dealt with properly.
The warrant was quickly recalled once the $100,000 bail was posted.
Lindsay is scheduled to return to Los Angeles on Saturday and is expected in court on Monday, but until then she's embracing everything that the south of France has to offer.
RELATED: See more pics of Lindsay
E! News reports she kicked off Thursday evening by downing refreshments at the Artists for Peace and Justice Benefit at the VIP Club, which attracted the likes of Gerard Butler and Russell Crowe.
"Lindsay was drinking Dom Pérignon, Cristal Roederer champagne and Belvedere vodka," relays a helpful club rep. "She had a great time. She was dancing on the banquette and laughing and joking with her friend."
Then it was off to a yacht, which she didn't exit until Friday morning. But there was a darn good reason for her all-nighter. According to her pal, Linds was stranded aboard after another friend took off in her car.
Commence eye-rolling sequence now.
By the by, Lohan, who ostensibly went to Cannes to promote a Linda Lovelace biopic, attempted to secure a private plane for her return trip, issuing a plea to everyone she knows. But something tells us her acquaintances are avoiding her like Homer Simpson avoids fruits and vegetables.
"I need my friends, and people I work with to PLEASE help me get on a private plane tomorrow by at least 5pm," she whined on Wednesday. "This is such a horrible thing that's happened to me and extremely unfortunate."
Yes, unfortunate indeed.
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