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'The Bachelorette''s Ali Fedotowsky on Her Emotional Breakup with Frank

ETonline, Tuesday, July 20, 2010, 12:25pm (PDT)

Ali Fedotowsky was in tears on Monday night's "The Bachelorette" when Frank broke the news to her that he had to leave because he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend Nicole. Now, ET talks to "The Bachelorette" to get her take on that emotional event.

ET: When you watch back what happened with Frank, do you think you handled it the best you could? Or are you like most of us and have second thoughts about what you should have done?

Ali Fedotowsky: No. I think in terms of what I should have done, I think I needed to deal with it the way I did because emotionally I needed to go through the process. It created a lot of sadness. I tried to be very vocal because I wanted women and girls watching to understand what I was feeling. I told Frank, "I know I need to go but I don't want to go because I know I am never going to see you again." I know most women have that feeling when they are breaking up with a boyfriend, or someone is breaking up with them. You don't want to go because it is so sad you are never going to see the person again.

When I was talking to Chris Harrison, I said, "Why do I want to go back to Frank right now? Why do I want to see him one more time? I shouldn't want to see him." I wasn't going to go and do that. I knew I wasn't, but I wanted to explain to people watching that I was going through all the emotions that I think we go through when something like this happens.

ET: He made you doubt yourself.

Ali Fedotowsky: He did. Looking back -- and even at the time -- did I think I would end up with Frank in the end? No, I didn't. I wanted to explore [the relationship] because I did have such strong feelings for him.

ET: I thought Frank was going to be the one.

Ali Fedotowsky: To be honest with you, Frank reminds me of my ex and there is a reason that I am not with that ex any more. I said that all along. I remember saying to my producer over and over, "This guy is going to hurt me." I said it a million times throughout the show. In the end, I don't think I would have chosen to be with someone having those unsure feelings. Do I think if Frank had stayed around my decision in the end would have been different? No, I think I would have chosen the exact same thing in the end and I am really confident in that.

ET: How do you compare what Frank did to what Justin did? Do you think they are the same thing, or a world of difference?

Ali Fedotowsky: I think there are similarities, but I think they are not in the same category at all in terms of if I had to put them in buckets. I think Justin's was more manipulative. Whereas, I think Frank was with this girl before he came on the show and I think they basically split up for him to go on the show. I don't think the feelings ever left. I think when Frank came on the show, he didn't expect to have such strong feelings for me. When he did, he was, "Oh, crap. I still have feelings for the girl back home." He should have come to me sooner. I think he knew all along that this was how it was going to play out. I don't think he wanted to be the last one standing. I think he was, "I am crazy about her, but I hope she sends me home next week. I hope I get really far and then she sends me home." When he got into the top three, he realized, "This could be it. I better say something."

ET: Do you know why Frank and Nicole broke up in the first place? I guess what I am asking is did you get more clarification beyond the conversation we saw on the air?

Ali Fedotowsky: No, I didn't. I really knew nothing about her. I knew something about another ex who went to Paris with him that he told me about in Iceland. I asked if he still had feelings for that ex because it seemed as if he was still holding in some feelings for an ex. I asked him about that particular ex that went to Paris and he said, "I don't have feelings for that girl anymore." So, little did I know not that girl, but this other girl that he failed to mention. I will talk to Frank at the "After the Final Rose" ceremony. I think it would be nice to get some clarification with what happened with that relationship. It would be nice to know in order to close it out.

ET: You told Chris that even if Frank wanted to come back, it was too late. Do you understand now why Jake Pavelka wouldn't let you come back?

Ali Fedotowsky: Not really. I did understand why Jake wouldn't let me come back, but I don't think it is the same. I think Frank left for another girl. For me, I actually said to Jake, "Come find me after the show is over. Who cares about the show? Maybe I can keep my job and you can come back." In that sense, it is totally different, but in the sense of leaving, I do understand more, but they are pretty different.

ET: So many women relate to your situation with a Frank-type of guy. What advice do you have for women who are dating a guy who reminds them of Frank?

Ali Fedotowsky: Some women think that when a guy makes you feel uneasy because you like him so much, it is almost a good thing. Oh, I like him so much and I am so crazy about this guy and he could hurt me … I always took Frank could hurt me as, "I like him so much and that is why he has that effect on me." But when you really find the person you should be with, I don't think you should feel that way. You should feel so secure in the relationship that that person would never leave and never have those feelings. At least, I know I do. I think a lot of women take that feeling of this person puts me on edge as a good, passionate thing, but it is not.

ET: I know you can't tell us your final decision, but when did you know what you were going to do? Before your parents met the guys? Or was it last minute?

Ali Fedotowsky: I'm going to not answer. I am going to go ahead and let you ask me that question when the season is over and I will give you my utmost truthful answer then.

Tune in next Monday when "The Bachelorette: Men Tell All" reunion airs at 8 p.m. on ABC.

Related stories: 'The Bachelorette''s Kirk on Putting Ali in a Basement with Dead Animals 

 Ali Fedotowsky 'Confident' She Made the Right Choices on 'The Bachelorette' 
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