Crouching Tiger, Hidden Drag Queen: What's wrong with this picture? Let's break it down. For starters, Jennifer Lopez is proudly holding a prize from the World Music Awards honoring her "outstanding contribution to the arts," which we assume covers her Oscar-bait baby high jinks in "The Back-up Plan" and her soaring operatic vocals on "Louboutins." The reverse-aging stunner has also wriggled into a one-shouldered, sequined gown that appears to have been custom made for Tony the Tiger's much-anticipated Sin City debut as a J.Lo impersonator (not surprisingly, early reviews say he's "grrrrreat!"). Toss in a hemline created from henhouse floor sweepings and enough dream catchers to decorate the rearview mirror of every VW bus still on the road and you have the makings of a real plucking nightmare.