"Mamma mia!" exclaimed Mario. "Don't my brother Luigi and I deserve more respect than this? We haven't spent years jumping barrels and avoiding plumber's butt just so this Jessie J character can reduce us to an ironic T-shirt statement, especially when it's worn with Daisy Dukes decorated with star-spangled pockets and shiny dollar signs. Holy macaroni, is nothing sacred? Still, as we say in the old country, "Nice stems!"