The Bride of Crankenstein: "I didn't sign up for this," sighed Lady Gaga's bodyguard, as he trailed miserably in her veiled wake. "I got into this line of work to protect people. And what am I doing? Making sure a nutball shrouded in a lace tablecloth and decorated in icing from a Fudgie the Whale cake doesn't trip over the gravy boats strapped to her feet. I'll bet Justin Timberlake's bodyguard doesn't have these problems. I'll bet he's never had to keep his client's giant doily from touching the ground. Oh, crap, is that a curb ahead? She sees that, right? Oh, crap, Gaga down! I repeat, Gaga down!"