Beyonce Opens Up About Her Miscarriage: 'The Saddest Thing I've Ever Been Through'
- Photo: Win McNamee/Invision/AP1 of 27
- Photo: AAR/Fame Flynet2 of 27
- Photo: helloblueivycarter.tumblr.com/.3 of 27
- Photo: APL/WENN4 of 27
- Photo: AAR/Fame Flynet5 of 27
- Photo: Wagner Az/PacificCoastNews.com6 of 27
- Photo: Fame Flynet7 of 27
- Photo: helloblueivycarter.tumblr.com/.8 of 27
- Photo: Eliot Press/Bauer-Griffin9 of 27
- Photo: Fame Flynet10 of 27
- Photo: Alan Diaz/Invision/AP11 of 27
- Photo: Julio Cortez/Invision/AP12 of 27
- Photo: Tony Gutierrez/Invision/AP13 of 27
- Photo: Anthony J. Causi/Splash News14 of 27
- Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage15 of 27
- Photo: Jim Spellman/WireImage16 of 27
- Photo: RICHARD YOUNG/Rex USA17 of 27
- Photo: Jim Spellman/WireImage18 of 27
- Photo: Instagram/.19 of 27
- Photo: Instagram/.20 of 27
- Photo: Instagram/.21 of 27
- Photo: Matt York/Invision/AP22 of 27
- Photo: Winslow Townson/Invision/AP23 of 27
- Photo: Kim Johnson Flodin/Invision/AP24 of 27
- Photo: BILL KOSTROUN/Invision/AP25 of 27
- Photo: Ronald Asadorian/Splash News26 of 27
She's now the ecstatic mother to her daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, nearly 13 months, but Beyonce dealt with the ultimate maternal anguish before that famous pregnancy: a miscarriage. Last year, the 31-year-old singer's husband, Jay-Z, briefly referenced the tragedy in "Glory," the rap track recorded within days of Blue's Jan. 7 birth, but Beyonce hasn't ever discussed the loss.
In a surprising moment of candor, she opens up for the first time about the incident and its aftermath in "Life Is but a Dream," her new documentary debuting on HBO in February. "About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time," the Grammy winner says in one scene. "And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life."
She and Jay-Z (they wed in April 2008) were naturally overjoyed about their baby-to-be. "I picked out names," Beyonce recalls. "I envisioned what my child would look like ... I was feeling very maternal."
But something went wrong in the early stages, the "Love on Top" singer reveals. "I flew back to New York to get my check up -- and no heartbeat," she says. "Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat."
The superstar (who will perform at the Super Bowl halftime show this Sunday, Feb. 3) dealt with the heartache the best way she knew how: through music.
"I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life," she says, although she doesn't name the track. "And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."
All of which made her successful pregnancy with Blue Ivy all the more exciting and joyful. "Being pregnant was very much like falling in love," she muses. "You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone."
After months of understandable secrecy, she finally did tell everyone -- in one of the most tweeted moments in history -- by revealing her bump on the red carpet at the MTV Video Music Awards in Los Angeles on Aug. 28, 2011. Later in the evening, she rubbed her growing belly at the tail end of a lively rendition of "Love on Top."
This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Beyonce Opens Up About Her Miscarriage: "The Saddest Thing I've Ever Been Through"
MORE ON WONDERWALL:
Worst Fashion '14
Rihanna, Lena Dunham, Jennifer Lawrence, and more celebrities mark some of 2014s worst fashion moments hosted by Wonderwall's Kirby Kristen.Watch Video »
Check out The Rock's best Instagram videos of 2014 on today's Celebs Gone Social, hosted by Wonderwall Editor Jessica Wedemeyer.Watch Video »
From Taylor Swift to Jessica Simpson, check out more of the best makeover stars underwent this year.Watch Video »
Kelly Carkson introduces her baby girl on Instagram, plus more stars who debuted their newborns on social media in 2014 on Celebs Gone Social.Watch Video »
Chrissy Teigen shows off her hidden talent for magic tricks while hubby John Legend plays with his new selfie stick on today's Celebs Gone Social.Watch Video »
From Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger to Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble; check out these odd celebrity couples.Watch Video »
Like us on Facebook?
UP NEXTMr. Worldwide
From Crowd Ignite