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Leave it to the tabloids to keep Jessica Simpson relevant. Her love life is a hot topic this week thanks to her bizarrely budding romance with Billy Corgan and a rib-tickling yarn involving a months-old picture of her posing with Tiger Woods.
Let's start with the once indie-cred-having Smashing Pumpkins front man, whose motivation in dating the amiable, if amour-klutzy, starlet is under scrutiny.
A snitch tattles to OK! magazine that Corgan is "very caught up in Jessica's mystique," and by "mystique," we assume that means he's enthralled by the way she wears Urkel jeans and can't discern fish from fowl.
He's apparently gung-ho about seeing where the romance could go, while she's said to be prematurely thinking about the possibility of bearing little bald-pated kiddies.
Meanwhile, In Touch delves into the pair's "WTF" hook-up, claiming they're not exclusive and don't have a heckuva lot in common, other than a mutual spiritual bent.
But is Billy praying that a romance with Jessica will help boost sales of the new Pumpkins album?
"He is dying for the attention," an insider snipes to the mag, "and that's probably why he's hanging out with her."
Still, Corgan is known for having, oh, let's call it an eclectic taste in women. After all, he's reportedly hooked his caboose to train wrecks Courtney Love and Tila Tequila, the latter of whom has a problem with his very famous new friend.
She slams Jessica to In Touch, cattily calling her "a waste of space. She can't even put two and two together. She doesn't show any female empowerment. She gets screwed over by her ex-boyfriends because she is all clingy. She should stop being so weak and stand up for yourself."
Us Weekly, for its part, believes that Jess is smitten with Billy because she thinks he's a quirky, talented abyss of emotion.
"She likes weirdos and anybody who's a 'real' musician," maintains a source, who doesn't specify exactly where Nick Lachey and John Mayer fall on the spectrum of "weird" and "real." "He's smart and intense, so she likes that. But they have practically nothing in common."
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Someone else Simpson has nothing in common with: Tiger Woods, which didn't stop Star from digging up an old photo of the two posing together during a golf tournament last July and proclaiming them "touchy-feely" in a "shocking inside story" that promises to detail the beleaguered golfer's "shameless come-on."
What the mag's cover shot doesn't show is Jessica's then-boyfriend, Tony Romo, who was standing nearby and probably would have noticed if she was exchanging digits and email addresses with the mistress-collecting Woods for so-called "private golf lessons."
"Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it," alleges a spy. "Jessica said that she felt like Tony wasn't paying attention to her, so she was like, 'What the heck!' She decided to have fun with Tiger whether it bothered Tony or not."
Simpson's camp tells Gossip Cop that the story is "so fabricated, it's disgusting."
Jessica also adamantly refutes the tale, tweeting on Wednesday, "Can't believe that I'm on the cover of Star magazine with Tiger Woods, what a JOKE! 'The Shocking Inside Story' is (insert drumroll) A LIE!"
And she's decided to take legal measures to prove that it's a load of fried baloney. TMZ reports Simpson's lawyer has "fired off a nasty letter" to the tabloid.
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