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What Secrets Does Britney Have Left to Reveal

Wonderwall, Thursday, January 22, 2009, 2:02pm (PST)
  • No sooner did the UK's Mirror tabloid announce that Britney Spears was signing an alleged 14 million 3-5 book deal than skeptics began to question the astronomical sum. After all, what could Britney possibly tell us that we don't already know?

    More than any celebrity before her, Spears' personal and professional breakdown unfolded in real time. We watched it all--the impromptu head shaving, the ill-fated weddings and, of course, the limo-exit anatomy lessons. What new information could possibly compel fans to buy one Britney autobiography, let alone 4 extra volumes?

    We're always ready to give Britney the benefit of the doubt. We'd also be fools to bet against the world's seemingly insatiable appetite for all things Spears-related. But--to our knowledge--there are only 5 and a half secrets Spears has left. Are they juicy enough to merit a hard-cover binding? You be the judge:

    1. A no-holds-barred accounting of her lifetime Starbucks expenditures.

    2. The amount of time, on average, she spends checking Justin Timberlake's Facebook page then swearing that she'll never do it again.

    3. The true fate of Bit Bit, that adorable Chihauhau who showed up on the red carpet and then disappeared forever into the catacombs of Chateau Spears.

    4. The Mickey Mouse Club years: seriously, who all was freebasing?

    5 1/2. Adnan Ghalib's inseam, pin number.

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