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Furious Charlie Sheen flays Farrah Abraham, calls her out for 'tranny boobs'

Wonderwall, Friday, June 14, 2013, 10:56am (PDT)
  • Who'd a thunk it? Turns out Charlie Sheen actually has standards, and Farrah Abraham doesn't measure up.

    You'll recall that the "Teen Mom" dim bulb-turned-backdoor porno actress recently tried to befriend Charlie Sheen via text, inviting him for coffee, a playdate with their kids and/or a party with "porn star people."

    The tiger blood-guzzling actor responded politely, until he realized their private messages had been leaked to TMZ.

    Now, the gloves are off, and he's going after her most sensitive areas, including her latest breast augmentation (the photos of which she sold to In Touch, including a shot that shows her unconscious and topless on the surgical table, with a tube down her throat) to her parenting skills.

    Here is his "epic rejection letter," in its entirety, per TMZ:

    "hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;

    I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.

    your daughter must be so proud.

    please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.

    oh and I'm sure they'll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o'clock shadow."

    bye!

    cs.

    In other words, Farrah shouldn't wait for a callback on that "Anger Management" role she was hoping to land. Then again, father of five Charlie might want to watch the hypocrisy of criticizing Abraham's porn career, given that he's a big fan of X-rated cinema and those who star in it.

    Farrah, meanwhile, helpfully informed TMZ that she's "not interested in him sexually."

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