Hide your daughters, granddaughters, nieces and assorted household pets, because Charlie Sheen is now goddess-free. TMZ says the unemployed former TV star just got the heave-ho from the one goddess who stuck around after the other ones took off.
Word is, Natalie Kenly beat a hasty retreat from Sober Valley Lodge last week, an exit that didn't sit well with the lately low-lying warlock. Sheen apparently ordered Kenly, who goes by Natty Baby and is holder of the prestigious Chronic Girl 2010 title, to return the Mercedes he'd purchased for her.
Oh, and "sources close to the actor" insist the bust-up is "not a common thing for the Masheen!" Yeah, just ask his three ex-wives and those long-gone pair of goddesses, whose names we've already forgotten.
And in what we're hoping is an attempt at typical Charlie braggadocio, he supposedly celebrated his remaining deity's exit by -- and we'll just quote TMZ here to keep our queasiness to a minimum -- "conquering women from three different countries -- Mexico, Australia, and Colombia -- the very night Kenly walked out."
Now, pardon us while we scrub ourselves with a wire brush and gallon of disinfectant. OK, moving on …