Jennifer Hudson: 'I Was Outside of Myself' After Family Murders
- Photo: KCSPresse/Splash News1 of 9
- Photo: Demis Maryannakis/Splash News2 of 9
- Photo: Splash News3 of 9
- Photo: Charles Cherney/Invision/AP4 of 9
- Photo: Jordan Strauss/GettyImages.com5 of 9
- Photo: John Shearer/WireImage.com6 of 9
- Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP7 of 9
- Photo: Seth Wenig/Invision/AP8 of 9
On VH1's "Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson" on Monday, the singer, 28, opened up for the first time about the tragic 2008 murders of her mother Darnell, brother Jason and nephew Julian.
"It's all a blur, it was surreal," she said. "It was like I was outside of myself."
For two weeks, she secluded herself in one room with loved ones.
"I prayed when I'd get up in the morning and prayed before I laid down at night," she recalled. Looking back, the Oscar-winning actress said she feels like she's "lived about three or four different lives."
Helping her heal? Her fiance David Otunga and their son David, whom they welcomed last August.
She says her son "reminds me of my nephew."
While raising her son, she said she often thinks about her late mother.
"In so many ways I channel her because she was such a great mom ..." said Hudson. "I want him to get the same love and the same upbringing my mother gave us."
More on Wonderwall:
More from UsWeekly:
Afraid of Bangs?
Rachel McAdams dishes on her 'About Time' makeunder, the hairstyle she's too afraid to rock in real life and more!Watch Video »
Kim Kardashian talks to ET about her new life with Kanye West and their new home they bought together.Watch Video »
Check out the Kardashians' best swimsuit moments during their family vacation in St. Barths on today's Celebs Gone Social.Watch Video »
Did Olivia Wilde, Kate Winslet, and Scarlett Johansson stun in the fashion department this week? Watch OMG Celeb Fashion to find out!Watch Video »
OMG Celeb Fashion
Check out Jennifer Lawrence, January Jones, and Miley Cyrus' style statements on this week's OMG Celeb Fashion.Watch Video »
Bad Summer Looks
From Miley Cyrus to Nicki Minaj, see some of the worst summer fashion in Hollywood.Watch Video »