Mirror U.K.'s 3am Girls are always wickedly whispering, but this week they've planted a seed of star-crossed jungle love so good we had to investigate. Which celeb was so wasted at a party she began dancing with a plant? Let's dig up the suspects!
Brit songbird Lily Allen's been known to go to drastic measures to snag a hook-up. Plus, she's been up to some odd furry-esque antics lately, like dressing up as a panda. If the dancing plant was bamboo, we may just have our culprit.
Was it her last dance with a tropical fern she'd grown close to in St. Lucia? Ever since Amy Winehouse's marriage to Blake Civil-Fielder hit the skids, she's seemed sad and lonely. We hear a little photosynthesis action is good for a broken heart.
After Lily and Wino, Kelly Osbourne is the next most notorious U.K. lass. A plant could be a calming influence on the potty-mouthed rock princess, but she did just complete a stint in rehab – and she has a boyfriend. We'll give her a pass this time.
Lindsay Lohan isn't a Brit, but she has been hanging out with Lily Allen a lot – and looking thin as a reed lately. Plus, her relationship with Samantha Ronson is on the rocks. Could she be experimenting with some latent plant-curious tendencies?
Tall and thin with a sharp, shiny blade-like face, we always thought that Paris Hilton resembled the hoe, queen of all garden tools. Plus, her new boyfriend Doug Reinhardt has the personality of a plant, so we'd understand any dance floor confusion.
Everyone knows that the French live more freely when it comes to love and relationship values. Perhaps the newly single Mischa Barton has been influenced by her adopted country and wholeheartedly thrown herself into the green lifestyle?
Upon learning that her "Hills" cast mate and BFF Lauren Conrad was leaving the show, did Audrina Patridge turn to a plant for comfort? A green, leafy object probably has roughly the same emotional capacity as ex-boyfriend Justin Bobby.
Sadly, a plant is probably more alive in bed than Holly Madison's ex Hugh Hefner. A plant can also thrive outside of the Vegas casinos, unlike her other ex Criss Angel. And Holly did join "Dancing with the Stars" – maybe she was just practicing?
Eldest Kardashian sister Kourtney just banned herself from having a boyfriend for at least a year. However, she is allowed to kiss. Fathers, lock up your Venus flytraps!