By Saryn Chorney
In this week's blind item, we investigate a celebrity couple who were recently out and about on the town when the lady half of the twosome got sick. And by sick, we mean she lost her lunch (or, more likely, dinner and drinks) all over her boyfriend and the back seat of the taxi they were inside. The chivalrous actor then helped the driver clean his cab and even gave the guy a $1,000 tip.
According to our source, the heroic actor made a brief foray into comedy, then returned to drama. Let's round up our suspects … but you might want to bring along a barf bag for this one.
On-again couple Drew Barrymore and Justin Long have recently been seen enjoying each other's company at events and various romantic locales throughout New York and Los Angeles. The blind item specifies that the actor was doing comedy, but is now back to drama. That almost makes sense if you consider "He's Just Not That Into You" a serious role for Long, but we're pretty sure Drew's party girl days are over. Unless she ate some bad sushi, this pair is a long shot (no pun intended).
Was Justin Timberlake's "Motherlover" sketch on SNL so hilariously vulgar that it made girlfriend Jessica Biel laugh so hard she upchucked in the cab ride home after the show? Timberlake seems like the kind of guy who would good-naturedly help clean and tip the driver, while Jessica has been just enough off her game lately to let the spew loose. Still, we're not sure J.T. has quite earned the label "actor" just yet. Let's keep looking.
Exactly how hard is Vanessa Hudgens working to lose her squeaky-clean "High School Musical" image? After her comments about shedding her clothes for the "right role," and her likely insecurity about boyfriend Zac Efron's rising star power, we could totally see the Hudge hurling after a night of underage partying. Efron might be a bit too pretty boy-ish to help clean puke, though.
Are they or aren't they a couple? Did she or didn't she toss her cookies in a cab? And would he or wouldn't he help clean it up? So many questions, so few answers from this supernaturally pretty pair. Lots of stories about Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and the rest of the "Twilight"/"New Moon" cast have been spilling off the Canadian set, but this one seems a little far-fetched. If Robert was the smelly, drunken mess we might believe it, but everyone knows liquor is not Kristen's poison of choice.
Reese Witherspoon looks a little woozy in this photo, and Jake Gyllenhaal made a few comedies ("Bubble Boy" and "The Good Girl") before returning to the dramatic roles that best suit him, so they almost fit the bill. It's just that we're having a hard time imagining straitlaced, mother-of-two Reese acting so irresponsibly. Then again, if she did ralph and rally, we could see Jake paying off the cabby to help protect her Oscar-winning honor. He's just that kind of guy.
On the other hand, there's Reese's ex, Ryan Phillippe, and his girlfriend, Abbie Cornish. The mostly-exclusive pair were seen partying hard together in Cannes, and recently returned to Los Angeles to continue the soiree. For some reason, Ryan just doesn't strike us as the throw up/clean up type. Plus, his relationship-related reputation is tarnished enough — a $1000 tip probably wouldn't help matters much.
On first glance, Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen just seem a little too, well, boring to be gallivanting around town and booting in taxis. But then we heard Bilson's house was recently robbed — and the thief stole all her designer labels and vintage shoe collection! Such misfortune could definitely drive a gal to drink, and her main man would surely do damage control under the circumstances. Only problem? We can't think of one comedic role the dramatic actor has ever played. Next.
We'd like to just call it a day and point the finger (give the finger?) to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Thing is, Spencer seems like too much of a tightwad (and a spoiled brat) to ever sully his hands cleaning barf. Besides, if this happened to them, there would absolutely be a picture or video somewhere to prove it. But, rest assured, Speidi does make us nauseous.
Sometimes it's the low-key lovers that fly under the barf-dar. "Step Up" co-stars Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are fixtures on the Hollywood scene, and they were recently spotted out at the Chateau Marmont. He once tried his hand at comedy ("She's the Man"), but returned to drama. Also, she's clearly a lightweight.
We can't confirm our suspicions, but if she did it and he cleaned it, we'd call Prince Channing a keeper. Good thing they're engaged. Get well soon (maybe)!