The Afternoon Shortlist for May 14

By Paige Ferrari

Robert Pattinson appeared to be in good spirits at his 23rd birthday bash in Vancouver, British Columbia. Yes, Kristen Stewart was there. And Rob "definitely chatted with Kristen the most." You kids know what chat leads to … (Life&Style)

Kristin Cavallari is headed for "The Hills." (Come on, you knew that joke was inevitable.) The blond "Laguna Beach" star will make her triumphant return to reality TV-land by catching Heidi and Spencer's wedding bouquet during the May 31 "Hills" finale. We think that means she has to marry Justin Bobby or something. (Socialite Life)

Tori Spelling says she was worried about raising a girl because of her own difficulties with her mother. That, and girls are always asking for things like prime-time soap opera roles and breast augmentation. Annoying! (People)

Jesus Luz's father says Madonna loves his son very much. He also says he spoke to Madonna on the phone in French and concluded, "She is feminine. I don't feel she is a harsh person." Tell that to Guy Ritchie. (PopEater)

The reported break-in at Lindsay Lohan's house really happened! There's even the surveillance tape to prove it. Hopefully, it proves as thrilling as the reel of Audrina Patridge's condo being burglarized by hipster vandals. (TMZ)

Kim Kardashian says that, when the time comes, she'll "definitely" invest in plastic surgery. After all, her stepfather Bruce Jenner looks as fresh as if he just strolled off the Wheaties box … and then had multiple botched facelifts. (US)

Miley Cyrus' lawyers are filing a class-action lawsuit against the woman who wants billions in recompense for Miley's "goofy" Asian-face photos. And they say America has too many frivolous lawsuits. (E! Online)