Breaking up was really, really hard to do for a tween Emma Stone.

Now an A-list actress who's been dating her Amazing Spider-Man costar Andrew Garfield for the past nine months, the 23-year-old tells famed director Cameron Crowe about her very first heartbreak in the new issue of Interview magazine.

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"I was crawling on the floor. I remember throwing up," who tells Crowe she was 14 at the time of the trauma. "I remember being on the floor . . . I have never felt anything quite like that. It was so visceral. It's like someone has killed you and you have to live through it and watch it happen . . . It was awful."

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As devastating as that young split was, it wasn't a life-defining trauma for Stone, she explains to Crowe. "My moment is not one that I would probably talk about. But there is a moment that keeps coming back over and over throughout my life," she says of a painful incident that occurred when she was six years old. "It's the thing that I return to when I'm making a decision out of fear," Stone says, without going into more specifics. "Anything that I'm doing out of fear is defined by that moment . . You heal yourself."

Stone's next film, Gangster Squad, hits movie theaters next year -- and once again teams the star with her friend and Crazy, Stupid Love costar Ryan Gosling.

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"I've asked him to read a couple of scripts. I just really like hearing his viewpoint because I know that it's never going to be tainted. He's very much his own person," she says of the hunk, 31, now dating Eva Mendes. "I only met him two years ago when we did Crazy, Stupid, Love, but it was like meeting a member of your team or something. I really like his brain . . . I immediately felt a kinship with him."

This article originally appeared on Emma Stone on Her First Breakup: I Was "Throwing Up"