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Over the weekend, Charlie Sheen offered to act as Lindsay Lohan's mentor, an advisory position that we hoped and prayed would come with its own reality show. But despite all evidence to the contrary, the starlet must have a tiny bit of sense remaining, because Charlie's generous, publicity-generating overtures were reportedly met with a resounding no.

LiLo's inner circle, which we assume currently consists of her less-than-competent lawyer, the daily callers from the collection agency and that goat that sounds like Taylor Swift, kvetches to TMZ that she would "never" allow the edge-living actor to be her spiritual guide.

Seems she knows her life is "out of control" but doesn't buy into Charlie's "it takes one to know one" mantra. Lindsay apparently just wants her "Scary Movie 5" co-star to shut his once goddess-stuffed piehole about her.

Still, Lohan is said to be appreciative of his help, including the $100,000 he forked over to help with her back taxes and a guest-starring role on an upcoming episode of his "Anger Management" series.

In making his offer, Sheen declared that Lindsay could continue to go down the path she's on, or "turn to me for some advice from a guy who's been down the road as well as every other side trail on the journey. If she listens, she'll win. If she doesn't, that's on her."

Seriously, why isn't there a reality show deal in place yet already?

Anyhoodie, Linds is supposedly seeing a therapist on the regular and "feels the consistency has helped," which is more than she could say if she were getting life lessons from Professor Sheen. That said, the therapist might want to get payment up front: Radar contends Lohan still owes her former attorney, Shawn Holley, $300,000.


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