That sound you hear? It's Tom Cruise breathing a big sigh of relief. Nicole Kidman reveals to British GQ that before she became Mrs. Keith Urban, she destroyed her diaries to protect her privacy and gain peace of mind.
"You can't read somebody's diary. You shouldn't read it," she says (via the London Daily Mail). "I burnt most of my journals after I remarried ... You're only going to find out bad things."
The unlined, plump-lipped Oscar winner split from Cruise in 2001 after a decade-long union, and she insists the reasons behind their sudden and (at the time) surprising marital meltdown will remain private. Permanently.
"I want to honor that marriage for what it was, and there is nothing I would go into about that," explains Kidman, 42, who has two children with her ex-hubby: Bella, 15, and Connor, 13. "I have never discussed the intricacies of it and I never will ... I will go to my grave with all my secrets, all my stories."
Not as secret is her relationship with Urban, whom she married in 2006 (daughter Sunday Rose arrived last year).
"You work on it," notes Nicole. "It's a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you're very much out at sea. You're exposed. You could drown."
Continuing the marriage-could-kill-you metaphor, she adds, "When you commit to someone like that, you live and die together by that decision."
Kidman confesses that it's a decision she nearly didn't make with Cruise.
"I know my agents at the time were like, 'Do not get married! It will ruin your career!' and I was like, 'But I'm in love,'" she recalls of getting hitched in 1990. "I did a lot of good, worthwhile work in Australia between the ages of 14 and 19 and then I married someone famous. And really, despite the huge profile that brought to me, I was still finding my feet."
(Check out some of her good, worthwhile work in 1983's "BMX Bandits" -- yep, she's on a bike and totally adorable -- here.)
"I became famous very young. I became very famous because I was the wife of somebody," continues Nicole. "All I know is that I wasn't someone interested in fame. And that's not why I got married ... I wanted to work with people who intrigued me."
Kidman is currently out stumping for the musical "Nine," which stars such intriguing people as Daniel Day-Lewis to Sophia Loren. It's also the latest in a long line of roles she's taken that deal with the ins and outs of romantic consequences, which is a topic she apparently really (really) relates to.
"My life has been about exploring types of love. I've explored obsession," says the actress. "I've explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I've explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I've explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy. But I'm still on that journey."
Nicole admits she signed onto "Nine" because she wanted to explore a world beyond poopy diapers.
"I'd just given birth, so I was like 'OK, I'm [still] a woman -- I want to do this film. And I do have a life other than simply feeding this baby,'" she remembers. "I think when you give birth you get itchy to get back to work and you want to feel life still goes on."
Concludes Kidman, "Give me risk, danger, darkness!"
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