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The UK's Mirror tabloid reports that Britney Spears will receive nearly 14 million dollars for writing a tell-all autobiography and "between three and five books throughout the next decade. " For you mean-spirited people keeping score--yes, that's 2 to 4 more books than Britney has actually read. (UK - The Mirror)

Shia LaBeouf's license has been suspended for one year as a result of a July car crash when the actor "refused a chemical test." Cue a million preteen girls lining up to offer young Shia a ride on their handlebars. (People)

Scarlett Johansson has signed on to promote Dolce and Gabbana's new makeup line in a series of Marilyn Monroe-inspired ads. Expect a pantsless, red-lipped Johansson to be seducing you over the cosmetics counter early next month. (MSN Movies)

This week's US Weekly cover story will dig deep into the tragedy that is Jennifer Love Hewitt's cancelled wedding. She'd already bought the dress! Her insecurities exploded and covered her in molten, relationship-killng emotional magma! It's terrible and sad. Now would it kill you to watch an episode of The Ghost Whisperer? (JustJared)

Despite rumors of marital strife, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were spotted at the Latino Inaugural Ball in DC, holding hands and kissing after performing a duet. And just like that, our long national nightmare is over. (MSN Music)